Friday, January 30, 2015

This Day in Jagr History: January 30, 2001

My god that tweet from Penguins beat writer Jason Mackey. Couple thoughts, adding "it's unrelated to recent trade speculation" = LOL. I mean what all does an agent do when a player is traded? It's not like they have much control over the situation, especially when that player doesn't have a no trade clause. On the other hand, it just seems like to much to be a coincidence. This whole situation seems like too much to be a coincidence actually. The Jagr news breaking, then the news Kunitz wasn't happy, then Sid and Kunitz appear to argue on the bench, and now this. After Jagr plays in tonight's game for the Devils his cap hit will drop because of the way his bonuses for games played are set up. The Penguins who are close on cap would have had to wait for this day regardless. The chance is slim to none, but if the Penguins come home with Jagr after the game tonight.... my god.

That 15 year old peanut butter will run you $27 by the way

January 30, 2001:

Pittsburgh Penguins - 6
Atlanta Thrashers - 3

In this match up against the Thrashers (RIP), Double J scored one goal and one assist. He took 3 shots and was on the ice for 23:48. Damian Rhodes was in net for Atlanta. Stunned Jagr didn't score 10 goals on 8 shots against that degenerate. 

One thing we've noticed when looking up old games is the unreal amount of "time on ice" Jagr had during his career. 23:48 is a lot, but some of these other totals we've seen are just insane. People who say Jagr is too old need to look at these numbers. Jagr could be 68 years old and would still be in better shape than half the people in the NHL.




Thursday, January 29, 2015

This Date in Jagr History: January 29, 1997

Josh Yohe went on the Mark Madden show today and confirmed Madden's report that the Penguins are indeed interested in Jagr. He also said that the Pens were shopping Kunitz, so shit is getting very real. When Madden originally reported the Jagr news people didn't believe him because he is Madden, it's good to see someone other than Double M saying he's heard the same things. 

Benstonium dropped an ungodly video promo for #JagrWatch. I've watched in at least 100 times today. Other than that there isn't really anything new to say about #JarWatch. JagrMania is still running wild.... God Help Us All.

January 29, 1997:

Pittsburgh Penguins - 1
Buffalo Sabres - 3

As expected, Jagr scored the only Penguin goal in this 3-1 loss to Buffalo. The Dominator was in net for the Sabres. 168% chance Jagr absolutely embarrassed Hasek. What a player.

If anyone has some unreal VHS collection of old Penguins games, you would be "da real MVP" if you uploaded them to YouTube somehow so we could out videos with this.

Not much else to add so here's a picture of Jagr with a dog. 

#JagrWatch will reach unreal levels tomorrow night


Wednesday, January 28, 2015

RECAP: Ovi's House. Pens LOSE.



Pens played well early but the Caps are actually pretty solid on defense. Pens have yet to score on Holtby and the Caps yet this season. Pretty bad effort all around for the Pens minus Fleury. He made 32 saves and was actually pretty good.

Here's all you need to know with what happened in this game.

  • Elite deflection by Ovechkin in the first. 1-0 Caps
  • Ovechkin in his office on the PP in the 2nd. 2-0 Caps (no clue what planet Andrew Ebbett was on during this play).
  • Pens let Eric Fehr get 4 clean shots in on Fleury, Fleury made 3 saves. 3-0 Caps.
  • Pens had a horrible dump in, Holtby controlled it and sent Caps on breakout. Ehrhoff with a bad pinch. Kuznetsov found Green on a 2 on 1. 4-0 Caps.
  • Downie got 10 for abuse of officials so thats fun.
  • Troy Brouwer jumped Kris Letang in last 30 seconds because you're not allowed to dish out a clean check.

Here's the bigger news as pointed out by our friends over at The Pensblog. The following happened in the 3rd period. NBC caught the gif of Crosby on camera while Pierre pointed out that there was a lot of frustration with the Penguins. As tPb said, this may be nothing but remember the news dropped by Mark Madden on his show yesterday that the Penguins are actively shopping Chris Kunitz because he's not happy here and as we've thought about this a lot over the past 48 hours, it makes sense as to why Kunitz hasn't been quite as engaged this year.

The first gif happened almost immediately after the 2nd one. Also to note, the very next shift that Crosby took, he took it between Perron and Hornqvist.

Brandon made a good point to us. 2 players (Paul Martin and Chris Kunitz) were known to be Bylsma boys. Player 1 (Martin) has bought into HCMJ's system and has played really good hockey this year despite having the option to sell out because Johnston isn't Bylsma. Kunitz on the other hand has sold out and has become Bylsma's bitch.

This just makes #JagrWatch more intense. We're ready.


Speaking of Double J, Pens are in New Jersey Friday.

Go Pens

This date in Jagr History: January 28, 1999

If for whatever reason you're not on twitter, there has never been a better time to join the dark side. JagrMania is running wild and it is a glorious sight. People are changing their names and avatars. There are unreal pictures and videos of Double J popping up everywhere. Speaking of unreal, twitter MVP @brianmcnulty11 tweeted a Top 10 Jagr Moments video. All the goals are absolutely unreal, but what Jagr did in number 5 is illegal in at least 14 states.

January 28, 1999

Toronto Maple Leafs: 0
Pittsburgh Penguins: 6

In a 6-0 whipping of the Toronto Maple Leafs, Jaromir Jagr scored 1 goal and 3 assists. Jagr was a +4 on the night and Stripes blew some call and gave him 2 PIMs. What a player.



Gameday 48: Capitals vs. Penguins

Verizon Center - 8 PM
TV: NBC Sports Network 
Radio: 105.9 The X

Tonight the Penguins head to Washington D.C. and the Verizon Center for the Wednesday Rivalry!!!1!11!!!1!. It's been 5 years since that unreal series on the way to the Stanley Cup. Part of the hate has subsided but I'm sure that will change the first time Ovechkin jumps 30813 feet into the air to hit someone. If Ovechkin and his passion doesn't get you jammed the Capitals 391484 goal horns will for sure. The Capitals are 24-14-9 (3rd in the Metro) entering tonight while the Penguins are 27-12-8 (2nd in the Metro). Tonight's game combined with #JagrWatch going on, put us into Code Yellow on the Official Jam Chart.

Lines: (Daily Faceoff)

Kunitz - Crosby - Perron
Bennett - Sutter - Hornqvist 
Arcobello - Spaling - Downie
Sill - Lapierre - Forward 27

Martin - Letang 
Bortuzzo - Ehrhoff 
Scuderi - Despres


No morning skate for the Pens and with Crosby being a game time decision, who knows what the lines will look like.

Ovechkin - Backstrom - Burakovsky 
Johansson - Kuznetsov - Brouwer 
Laich - Fehr - Ward
Chimera - Beagle - Wilson

Orpik - Carlson 
Alzner - Niskanen 
Hillen - Green


Who are the Stripes: (Scouting The Refs)

Tim Peel

Derek Nansen
Andy McElman

This Date in Penguins History: January 28, 1989

Detroit Redwings: 5
Pittsburgh Penguins: 10

Wow. What a game this would've been to see. Apparently there were goalies playing in this game. Greg Stefan and Glen Hanlon were in net for the Wings and Wendell Young was in net for the Penguins. The Penguins got goals from Rob Brown (3), Paul Coffey (2), Bob Errey (1), Mario Lemieux (1), Troy Loney (1), and Dan Quinn (2). Dan Quinn added 4 assists, add those to his 2 goals (#math) and his 6 points were the most of any Penguins player that night. Super Mario added 3 assists. Bob Errey also dropped the gloves with former Ottawa Sentators coach and 2013 Jack Adams Award winner Paul MacLean. MacLean somehow received 19 penalty minutes that game, no clue what else he did. No clue if he had his unreal mustache back then, but that could be a reason for those PIMs. 

  • Nicklas Backstrom is the leading scorer for the Capitals with 15 goals and 33 assists for 48 points.
  • #JagrWatch
  • Ovechkin has 27 goals and 16 assists for 43 points. 43, coincidentally, is also the number of strides Ovechkin averages before he hits someone. 
  • Jay Beagle in the lineup for the Craps tonight. Good to see he finally woke up.

Goodnight Moon
  • Newly acquired Penguin Maxim Lapierre will be making his debut tonight and will be wearing the number 40. Praying he teams up with Downie to 3-D Ovechkin through a table. 
  • #BringHomeDoubleJ
  • Crosby is a game time decision tonight, but it looks like he will be in the lineup after faking an injury to get out of the All Star Game. 


Go Pens

RECAP - No Crosby, No Malkin No Problem



   The Penguins resumed their second half of the season yesterday night facing off against the Winnipeg Jets at home. The Penguins were without class act hero Sidney Crosby due to the NHL's great shitty rule that prohibits players from playing in their first game back if they miss the all-star festivities. Malkin was placed on the IR Monday with a lower-body injury injury, however it was retroactive to January 20th, so he's good to go any time now. Kris Letang and Patric Hornqvist were game time decisions and boy did both of them show up. In summary, the Pens played a complete solid game of hockey and got the two points they deserved. 

Spaling doeeeeee

(GIFS courtesy of the Penguins website) 

Spaling (7) tallies first with 12:51 to go in the first thanks to an unreal pass by David Perron. This was Letang's first of 5 (five) (FIVE)assists. 

   About 2:13 into the second period, former Penguin Chris Thorburn gets his 5th goal in the NHL this season. That's mind boggling considering Chris Thorburn even thinks Chris Thorburn sucks. Anyways it was a pretty sweet pass from degenerate Adam Lowry (only because he nailed Kris Letang from behind, so we wish the worst on him). Thorburn tipped it past Greiss for a 1-1 game. The Jets also got the next goal with about 7:13 to go with an absolute bomb by Jacob Trouba. Byfuglien made some pass to Kane who passed to Trouba who just unloaded past Greiss who couldn't even see the puck. 2-1 Jets. Then #Downie316 happened with an unreal pass to Kris Letang who shot it off Pavelec and Downie found the garbage for his 9th of the season from Letang and new St.Louis Blues player Marcel Goc (More coming).

Downie doeeeeee

  Basically a minute into the third Adam Lowry snaps a puck past Greiss. It was pretty much an absolute rocket and Greiss was just like 'meh YOLO we're gonna score three more goals anyway.' From then on out the game was all Pittsburgh. David Perron strikes on the powerplay as of course none other than Kris Letang fired it on net, and Perron just kept poking and jammed it home. 3-3. Perron's 7th goal in 10 games as a Penguin. 

Perron doeeeee

  Less than three minutes later Brandon Sutter wanted a goal and he scored too, from some weird angle and Patric Hornqvist tried jamming the puck past Pavelec like 53443 billion times. Sutter's 10th from Martin and Letang.

Sutter doeeeee

That empty net thooooo

3rd star: Chris Thorburn (LOLOL 1 goal, 1 assist)

2nd star: David Perron (1 goal, 1 assist)

1st star: Kris Letang (0 goals, 5 asssists)

News: The Penguins have acquired center / grit guy Maxim Lapierre from the St. Louis Blues for Marcel Goc. This literally happened .343 seconds after the Penguins had defeated Winnipeg. Lapierre is 6'1 207lbs while Goc was 6'1 196. Lapierre is a gritty guy, not quite comparable to Steve Downie but he'll certaintly toughen up the bottom six. He also has a better faceoff percentage than Goc, so the Penguins surly did not get any weaker in the faceoff dot. Lapierre is expected to be in the lineup for the game tonight against the Capitals. 

Apparently Lapierre makes 100k less than Goc so could this mean it's a piece to a bigger part of the puzzle.... GMJR SAY IT'S TRUE...

Game Notes
  • The Penguins and Jets combined for a total of 112 hits, which would make a Ray Rice / Chris Brown party seem weak
  • The Penguins powerplay went 2/3 last night and looked very good
  • The 'Iron Man' Beau Bennett played in his 10th game so props to him
  • The Penguins are 9-0-1 in their last 10 games without both Crosby and Malkin so they should never play again ever
  • Despite 534,545 hits there managed to just be 20 penalty minutes in the game counting a fight
    • #Discipline

Next game: In about 8 seconds against the Washington Capitals @8PM

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

This Day in Jagr History: January 27, 1995

We've been talking about starting this for awhile and now that the rumors are swirling and we are all Code Red Hide Yo Kids Hide Yo Wife Smuckers Farm Jammed, we figured there was no better time. We're going to run this every day until Jagr finally comes home. We'll try to keep up and not pull a Sidney Crosby in the All Star game and blow it off. 

Jaromir. Jagr. Double J. The man, The myth, The Legend. One of the greatest players to ever put on a Penguins jersey. If you keep current Penguins Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin out of the equation Jagr is easily the 2nd greatest player to ever done the Penguins logo. Double J sits behind only Mario Lemieux in almost all of the Penguins all time records. 806 games played (2nd all time), 439 goals (2nd all time), 640 assists (2nd all time), and 1,079 (2nd all time).

The city of Pittsburgh fell in love with Jaromir Jagr and his unreal mullet when he was drafted by the Penguins in the 5th round of the 1990 NHL Draft. Sadly, after 11 seasons of magic on the ice, including 2 Stanley Cups, 5 Art Ross Trophies (4 straight from 1998-2001), 1 Hart Trophy, and 2 Lester B. Peterson Awards that love began to fade. The Penguins were a team struggling financially and with Mario Lemieux making his return from retirement the Penguins being able to afford Jagr became a real issue. Tension in the locker room and with coaches just added to problems. Jagr wanted out. Jaromir Jagr was "dying alive".

July 11, 2001. One of the worst trades in Penguins history. Kris Beech, Michal Sivak, Ross Lupaschuk for Frantisek Kucera and Jaromir Jagr. The dark ages were underway. Penguins fans felt betrayed by Jagr and he became one of the biggest villains for Penguins fans, booing him every time he touched the puck. Jagr spent time in Washington and New York before heading to Russia to play in the KHL. After several years of playing in the KHL, Jagr was set on returning to the NHL. Rumors swirled that Jagr wanted to come back to Pittsburgh and just like that #JagrWatch was on. Pens fans tracked Jagr's plane as he headed to America and called his agent relentlessly. Pittsburgh wanted their hero back.

Things didn't turn out the way anyone in Pittsburgh had hoped as Jagr turned full heel, signing with the Philadelphia Flyers, where he would help eliminate the Penguins from the 2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs. Jagr left the orange and black the next season and the hate began to subside. He's spent time Dallas, Boston and he is currently in New Jersey. Jagr is nearing the end of his career and the Devils are a struggling team that will not be able to give Jagr a chance at one last Cup. The crowd clamoring for Jagr to return to the Penguins has gotten louder while the booing of Jagr has never be quieter. The time is now. The time for one of the greatest returns in Penguins history is now. The time for Jagr to come home so the number 68 will forever hang from the Consol Energy Center rafters is now. The time for Jaromir Jagr to return to Pittsburgh so he can end his career with a Stanley Cup is now. The time to #BringHomeDoubleJ, is now.

January 27, 1995: 

Pittsburgh Penguins: 5
Ottawa Senators: 4

Jagr scored a goal and an assist in the Penguins victory over the Senators. Not surprisingly Jagr was tied (with Joe Mullen) for the most points in the game for the Pens.


Gameday 47. Blackhawks vs. Pens

Consol Energy Center - 7 PM
TV: ROOT Sports
Radio: 105.9 The X

Gonna keep this one short and sweet as we have another post coming shortly. The Penguins enter tonight with a record of 26-12-8 and the Jets enter with a record of 26-14-8. The All Star Break is over and the race to the playoffs is on. It's almost February and as good old "JR" Jim Ross would say, business is about to pick up.

Lines: (Daily Faceoff)

Bennett - Sutter - Hornqvist 
Kunitz - Spaling - Perron
Arcobello - Goc - Downie
Sill - Ebbett - Forward 27

Martin - Letang
Bortuzzo - Ehrhoff 
Scuderi - Despres 


Ladd - Little - Wheeler
Perreault - Scheifele - Frolik 
Kane - Lowry - Thorburn 
Halischuk - Slater - Peluso

Chiarot - Byfuglien
Enstrom - Bogosian 
Harrison - Trouba


Who are the stripes: (Scouting the Refs)

Mike "Pittsburgh Gold Puke" Leggo
Rob Martell

Jay Sharrers
Greg Devorski

  • #BringHomeDoubleJ
  • We're skipping "This Day in Penguins History" today. If you have a problem with that:
  • #BringHomeDoubleJ
  • No Crosby tonight since he faked an injury and missed the All Star Game
  • #BringHomeDoubleJ
  • Pens keeping Fleury on the bench tonight after embarrassing the entire city of Pittsburgh during the 2nd period of the ASG.
  • #BringHomeDoubleJ


Go Pens

Sunday, January 25, 2015

HF Boards: Random Trades

I was gonna wait until we launched the Pens of Anarchy site to do another HF Boards post, but I just so happen to have found the WORST trade in HF Boards history. Naturally, with the worst trade in HF Boards history and the All-Star game, it was a boring weekend so I figured we could fill it up with some fun.

In case you're new to following us here at PoA (formerly known as Heyyyyy Fannnssss) we like to make fun of the biggest degenerates on the internet and those degenerates occupy the space known as Yes, we know some of you might consider the Die Hard Penguins facebook page to have some of the biggest degenerates on the internet, but if you think they do, you need to broaden your horizons and travel the world wide web further because you'll lose even more brain cells if you read the posts at HF.  What we like to do is compile a bunch of dumbass trade proposals from those idiots into one post and just roast them. This post will kind of be like a Comedy Central Roast of *insert Celebrity name here* but we are far from being comedians and the people we are roasting are farrrrrr from being celebrities.

The Jam Siren means it's go time.

Trade #1 - the WORST trade in HF boards history (for those of you who red the HF boards or have followed along with our posts know that this must be reallyyyyy bad)

Paul Martin (25% salary retained)
Beau Bennett
2016 Conditional 3rd Round Pick (2nd if Martin re-signs) (yeah I know...)

Mike Green

Yes, that Mike Green.... 

No need to honestly even analyze this trade as 1. It'll never happen 2. The guy who wrote this probably should have his internet rights revoked for 3 years forever.


Trade #2 - I guess an Oilers fan wants to make another deal with GMJR.

Brandon Sutter
Derrick Pouliot
Rob Scuderi

PIT 2015 1st
Derek Roy
Teddy Purcell (50% retained)
Jeff Petry

GOOD GOD NO. There's no way that if the Penguins were to trade Brandon Sutter and Derrick Pouliot to Edmonton, they would have to Yakupov, Eberle, or Taylor Hall in return so yeah thats' all we even need to say.

GMJR when MacT would call with this trade, probably.

Trade #3. This is a 3 way deal between the Penguins, Kings, and Senators.

Marc Methot

Paul Martin

LA Kings 2015 2nd
LA Kings 2016 3rd
Joel Lowry

Uhhhhh so essentially the Penguins are trading Paul Martin for Marc Methot. TBH, I forgot the Ottawa Senators existed. Uhhhhh yeahhhh

Trade #4 - A trade with the Panthers. This outta be good.

Sean Bergenheim

Robert Bortuzzo
Nick Spaling
Brian Dumoulin

Uhhhhh, that's pretty steep for Sean god damn Bergenheim

Trade #5 - This trade was made by the same guy who made the Mike Green trade so take it with a grain of salt...

Brad Marchand

Paul Martin
Scott Harrington
Jean Sebastien-Dea
2016 2nd

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Well we can only make fun of so many degenerates at once. We hope you enjoy this one and we will have some more of this as the takes are gonna start to be hotter as we get closer to the trade deadline in March.

Until then.

Go Pens.