Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A Caps/Pens "pre game"

So tonight on twitter @Matt24Cooke tweeted out this post from a Caps blogger.  If your just coming out from under a rock the Pens play the Caps in less than 24 hours.

Here's the full post:

Reading this made us want to harm a small animal.  If you're too lazy to read it all we are gonna put some "highlights" in this post.  Enjoy.

"Then we come to the middle ground: decent places inhabited by truly awful organizations. Pittsburgh comes to mind. Hoorah, it’s beautiful and their food isn’t too toxic and the local rumor is that there’s even a museum or something. But it’s also home to the rat burrow of unctuous finkRichard Mellon Scaife and his poisonous heirs, and the ‘Terrible Towel’, which we rank as only just below Scaife as scabes-inducing. The Pittsburgh Penguins… and Dan Bylsma. Think about that for a moment: both the Penguins AND Bylsma (and his douche-hat) compressed into one geographic point. That single distinction alone  is enough to push Pittsburgh to new title holder: Epicenter of Suck."

Well now.   Bylsma and his douche hat?  You mad Bylsma can rock a fedora and Boudreau couldn't?

"Every game matters. Pens games matter more. This game matters very much more."
Coming from a fan of a team that compared winning the Winter Classic to winning the Stanley Cup this his hilarious.

"It is the time for righteous beatdowns of those self-entitled prigs in Pittsburgh."
Prigs?  Righteous beat down? What is this the 70's  who says righteous anymore?

"vampire Kris Letang (3G 16A, plus-5)  We say vampire given Letang’s punishment from the Habs’ Max Pacioretty last Saturday, only to rise from the dead to score the GWG. Vampire or zombie? Let’s let his hair be the judge."
Didn't know Kris Letang sucked blood for a living.  And last time I checked he's never bitten someone.

"Self-appointed Captain of the whiners,Sidney Crosby, is once more up to his soullessrobotic ways. Scoring, hitting, scoring, smiling vacantly for the cameras. There is not enough room in Heaven or on this Earth to heap enough scorn on Sidney Crosby and his media-whoring ways. Unfortunately, on this plane of existence we need to contain him on the ice."
Just read that and let it sink in for a second.  Soul less?  Smiling vacantly for the camera?  That's all you can come up with?

"There is no amount of torture that will force me to admit that Dan Bylsma is a decent coach. I mean: hardly a decent human being. Like 
 Boudreau said a while back, can you really imagine Coach Douche-Hat “playing” with anyone, let alone his offspring, during the holidays? . How about you use everyone else in your life as a prop for your own mealy-mouthed self-aggrandizement? Oh wait! You’re doing the Movember thing? Really? Moustaches around the nation have done great work for raising money. But no moustache has spoken truer than that spiral cut ham rotting on Bylsma’s lip.Quoting: Dan Bylsma’s moustache to world: ‘I hate you, and am cutting myself off from all human contact."

Hardly a decent human being?  God forbid the guy play with his kids during Christmas!!!  Who the fuck does that??  What a dick???  Get real.  And what the fuck does aggrandizement mean??  And nice quote about his moustache.  Did it take all month to figure that one out.  

"The Fetid Stink Birds have allowed only 63 goals this season, compared with our 75."

What the fuck does Fetid mean?  Where are you pulling these words from Boudreau's double chin?

"Let the H8trs rip me up, but I’m not convinced Pittsburgh is much more than a well-oiled one-trick machine. "

Kind of like you're joke "captain" right?

"the Caps, almost entirely from head to tail, are the best NHL collection of talent in the last decade."

Give me the 03 Devils against the guys any day of the week.  Maybe Scott Stevens would knock Ovi into the upper deck.

"There’s no game bigger than this, and they know it’s happening in front of their loyal hometown."

No wonder you guys choke in the playoffs.  No bigger game than this?  It's December 1st against the Penguins.  Come on.

 "It’s a Red Town Thursday, and we’re here to eat Pittsburgh’s lunch and steal their cookie."

Eat Pittsburgh's lunch and steal their cookie?  How old are we 6?

"Dumptruck Arron Ashamdecided to give our Jay Beagle a pounding he wouldn’t forget. Or would, apparently if Asham had his way. As in: men with concussions don’t really remember what happened to them in the first place. In our book Arron Asham is no better than a drunk driver. No, he’s worse, actually: someone supposedly in control of his facilities (or what passes for them) who intentionally chooses to send a man to the hospital with a swollen brain injury. Nice going, Asham."

Oh no!!!  Some went after poor little Jay Beagle.  If memory serves us correctly and I'm pretty sure it does since we were at that game, Beagle decided to run Kris Letang from behind then picked a fight with Asham.  And how can you compare him to a drunk driver?  Pretty sure Asham didn't kill anyone.  Intentionally chooses to send a man to the hospital with a swollen brain injury? was a fight jackass.  It would have been worse if Asham wouldn't have held Beagle up when he was falling.  Good call dick.

"Beagle may not remember, but we do. Asham: you are a horrible human. We are watching you. There’s a timebomb ticking… and you’re not going to like it when it goes off."

Who's going to go after Asham?  Mike Green?  "You're captain"?

"And remember, Pittsburgh:tick-tick-tick-tick…"

Is that the sound of the Verizon Center about to blow up?  If so hopefully it doesn't happen when were are. there tomorrow.

This is nice.

We prefer this one.

Bring the hate Thursday Pens fans.

Go Pens.

Simon Despres Called up

Earlier tonight Simon Despres was called up by the Pittsburgh Penguins.

To make room the Pens sent down Alexandre Picard.  Kind of surprising because Picard was sent down because he was playing pretty good.

4:25 mark

3:58 mark.  Then he destroys someone somewhere around 5:20.  Then Chris Borque cries at the end.

Fun times.

Hopefully Despres put Ovi through the glass tomorrow.

Go Pens

RECAP. Shooting Themselves in the Foot. Pens LOSE

The Pens made their way through the tears of Rangers fan to MSG for the first time this season.  And like the title says shot themselves in the foot countless times.  The Pens has 24589 power plays in the first period but were only able to cash in on 1.  Pens could have and should have been up 3-0 going into the second.  But instead were only up 1-0 and the Rags made them pay in the 2nd.  The Pens somehow had a chance to tie it in the 3rd but went to the penalty bow faster than Rags fans cried about getting called for a blatant penalty.

1st Period
TK and Avery roughed each other up early in the game.  Avery was probably pissed TK wasn't watching some fashion show.  They would both get 2 for roughing.  Staal had a chance in close early but missed the net.  Engelland hit a post somewhere in there too.  Then as Engelland had another great scoring chance TK, and Avery dropped the gloves and actually fought.  Had Engelland scored it may not have counted.  

Then the Pens would go on their first of 37457 power plays in the first period.  Nothing.  Then another.  Again, nothing.  Then Vitale had his balls in Lundqvists mouth.  Lundqvist got pissed and punched Vitale in the head.  Pens got another power play and finally cashed in.  Sid dished a pass to Neal and Neal sniped Lundqvist to make it 1-0 Pens.  According to a Rangers fan Sidney Crosby blew the refs that period.  Like we never heard that one before.

2nd Period.
Go look up meltdown in the dictionary.  Pretty sure the Pens 2nd period will be listed there.  Rags got a power play early and Callahan tied it at 1.  Neal had a chance to possibly make this period look different when he had a chance in close but Lundqvist kept it out.  Then before you know it John Mitchell, Brad Richards and Mary Ann Gaborik made it 4-1 Rags.  Yikes.  Then it looked as if Matt Cooke had made the score 4-2 but the goal was waived off.  Cooke hit the puck with a high stick it deflected off of Lundqvist off Michael Sauer and into the net.  Ok here is where it gets confusing.

RULE 80.3 Disallowed Goal: When an attacking player causes the puck to enter the opponent's goal by contacting the puck above the height of the crossbar, either directly or deflected off any player or official, the goal shall not be allowed.  The determining factor is where the puck makes contact with the stick.  If the puck makes contact with the stick below the level of the crossbar and enters the goal, this goal should be allowed.

A goal scored as a result of the defending player striking the puck with his stick carried above the height of the crossbar of the goal frame into his own goal shall be allowed.

Ok.  That's easy to understand.  Think back to the Dallas game when Kunitz deflected the puck into the goal and his stick was above the crossbar.  That's basically this rule in a nut shell.

BUT where it gets really confusing is this rule.

RULE 80 - High Sticking the Puck

RULE 80.1 High Sticking the Puck: Batting the puck above the normal height of the shoulders with a stick is prohibited.  When a puck is struck with a high stick and subsequently comes into the possession and control of a player from the offending team (including the player who made contact with the puck), either directly or deflected off any player or official, there shall be a whistle.

When a puck has been contacted by a high stick, the play shall be permitted to continue, provided that:

(i) the puck has been batted to an opponent (when a player bats the puck to an opponent, the referee shall give the "washout" signal immediately.  Otherwise, he will stop play)

(ii) a player of the defending side shall bat the puck into his own goal in which the goal shall be allowed.

Wait what.  So go back read rule 80.3, then read rule 80.1 (ii).  If that isn't the definition of contradiction I don't know what is.  

The play stood as no goal which ended up being a huge factor in this game.  Nothing we can do about it now.

Near the end of the 2nd the Pens would make set up an interesting 3rd period.  Malkin gathered the puck in his own zone, took a fairly big hit, and instead of standing around like Alex Semin would do Malkin kept on the puck.  Gathered it and dished it to Bortuzzo.  Bortuzzo got the puck up the boards and got blasted from behind by Ryan Callahan.  A penalty was going to be called on the play but Neal put a shot on Lundqvist who made the save but let up a juicy rebound and Geno came flying in out of no where to put the rebound home to make it 4-2.  What a play by Bortuzzo.  Hope Callahan gets fined just to hear Rags fans cry some more.

3rd Period
Early in the 3rd Pascal Dupuis would score to make it 4-3 Rags.  The disallowed Cooke goal is even bigger now.  Pens had a chance to tie it on the power play but couldn't get anything.  Gaborik had a chance to probably put the game away but missed the net completely.  Then the Pens had an unreal shift and were close to tying the game multiple times.  The Rags couldn't get the puck out of the zone.  The Malkin made a diving play o keep the puck in and slashed someone.  Pens to the PK.  Then the Pens took another penalty.  Rags had a 5 on 3.  Pens killed one of back to 5 on fou......Another penalty to the Pens.  Rags back to a 5 on 3.  Pens couldn't stop vomiting all over themselves.  Pens would kill off the 5 on 3 and eventually the 5 on 4. Rags didn't even get a shot.  The Kunitz "boarded" Fedotenko.  Fedotenko went down faster than a stripper after Pac Man Jones made it rain.  Pens back to the PK.  Killed.  Pens had 53 seconds to tie it.  They pulled MAF but couldn't get anything.  Gaborik had a chance at the open net but missed.  Surprised he didn't get hurt on the play.  Game.  Pens would fall 4-3.

3 Stars
1.  Mary Ann Gaborik
2.  Brenda Richards
3.  Evgeni Malkin

Quick Thoughts
  • We could take the Rags fan approach to this game and say Torterella blew the refs in between periods.  But we won't.  Pens deserved to lose.
  • Pascal Dupuis still has more points than Ovi
  • Solid game from Bortuzzo and Picard
  • Matt Cooke is mustache for December.
Caps on Thursday at 7.

Go Pens

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

GAMEDAY 25. Pens @ Rangers

MSG.  What a shit hole

7:00 p.m.  ROOT Sports, Versus

The Penguins make their way into Madison Square Garden and we can already hear Brandon Dubinsky crying.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.   Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.  Cry baby.  We don't even need an abacus to count the number of thing Brandon Douchebinsky has accomplished in his career.  Remember when Jordan Staal did this?  
What a dive.  So funny that Prust got away with a million cross checks on TK during that play.  Jordan Staal got kicked out for that.  Pens didn't have Crosby, or Malkin for that game.  Lost Staal after this play and the Pens still won the game.  Hopefully someone does that to Dubinsky tonight.

Pens lines via The Pensblog

Chris Kunitz-Sidney Crosby-Pascal Dupuis
Steve Sullivan-Evgeni Malkin-James Neal
Matt Cooke-Jordan Staal-Tyler Kennedy
Aaron Asham-Joe Vitale-Craig Adams

Kris Letang*-Brooks Orpik
Zbynek Mickhalek-Paul Martin
Matt Niskanen-Deryk Engelland

*Letang has a broken nose.  Picard and Bortuzzo called up just in case

Marc Andre Fleury

For the cry babies, I mean Rags, I mean Rangers via The Pensblog
Artem Amnisimov-Derek Stepan-Marian Gaborik
Ruslan Fedotenko-Brad Richards-Ryan Callahan
Sean Avery-Brandon Dubinsky-Brandon Prust
Carl Hagelin-Brian Boyle-John Mitchell

Ryan McDonagh-Dan Girardi
Michael Del Zotto-Michael Sauer
Jeff Woywitka-Steve Eminger

Henrik Lundqvist

Surprised Gaborik isn't hurt yet.
Surprised Sean Avery isn't going to some fashion show instead of playing this game
Marc Staal is injured so no Staal vs Staal tonight.
Mike Rupp is also injured

Can't wait for some Rangers fans to cry tonight.

Go Pens

Sunday, November 27, 2011

RECAP. Sweet Vengeance. Pens WIN.

The Pens were in Montreal last night.  Good ol Montreal where the crowd has booed being called for icing before.  Montreal, where the fans last season tried pressing charges on Zdeno Chara for a hit on Max Pacoriety.  The same Max Pacoriety that tried to take Kris Letang's head off.  If there is ever evidence of a double standard in the NHL watch a game in Montreal.  If Matt Cooke throws the hit Pacoriety threw on Letang, Cooke is suspended before he gets off the ice.  Kris Letang would get his vengeance later.

1st Period
21 seconds in Geno stuffs on in on a delayed penalty call to make it 1-0 Pens.  Habs were gonna get whistled for a penalty when someone held Crosby but Malkin didn't want to let Montreal riot just yet and saved everyone by scoring.  

Like 2 seconds later Travis Moen tied the game at 1.  The Pens got a power play but couldn't do anything with it.  The Crosby, Malkin, Neal, Sullivan, Letang power play is going to be fun to watch.  Soon after Max Pacoriety scored.  Thought he had a broken back in like 300 places.  Not much else happened this period except for MAF playing like his balls were on fire.  If not for him Pens might have been down 39-1 going to the 2nd.

2nd Period
Pens would score early to make it 3-2.  Sid threw one in front and Kunitz batted it in out of mid air.  But they took a second look at it in Toronto.  

The goal ended up being waved off because it was determined Kunitz hit the puck in with his glove.  Show me how you can say with 100% certainty the puck hit Kunitz glove.  Then business was about to pick up.  Dupuis had a breakaway but was stopped and after the play Subban shoved Dupuis into the boards.  No penalty of course.  The ROOT sports had their OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING moment of the game.  Letang launched a bomb that broke the shaft of Price's stick.  The Habs would go 2 on 1 the other way and ROOT sports cut to a shot of Price's shattered stick.  Montreal almost scored and we would have missed it.  About halfway through the 2nd Erik Cole put one in somehow.  No clue why someone was allowed to be up Fleury's asshole on that play.  3-1 Habs.  It looked like the Habs were just gonna shut the door and walk out with a 3-2 win.  But Pascal Dupuis says NOT SO FAST.  Late in the period Dupuis would rip a one timer passed Fisher Price after Paul Martin made a big time play to keep the puck in a get it to Dupuis.  Pascal Dupuis > Alex Ovechkin.  Brooks Orpik called called for a penalty after PK Subban did the same thing on the other end.  Joke.  Pens killed it.  Then Montreal almost rioted when Subban got pushed by Letang.  Shut up.  Pens down 3-2 going to the 3rd.

3rd Period
Chris Kunitz would tie the game early...buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut the goal would be waived off because Kunitz ran into Price.  Not much happened until Subbans ugly antics showed up again.  Subban kicked James Neals skates out from under him causing James Neal to high stick someone.  Pretty sure thats a slew foot.  Can't wait til someone destroy's Subbans life.  Habs almost put the game away after Niskanen made his 1st big mistake this season.  Montreal couldn't do anything with it.  Then things turned in the Pens favor.  Jordan Staal kicked it in to beast mode, got a sick pass from Malkin and walked in on Price on a breakaway.  You knew he was scoring when he got the puck.  Buries it.  3-3.   Huge goal from Staal.  Huge.  Then as the game was getting closer and closer to overtime this happened.

Blatant head shot.  Did he me to?  Probably not especially since what happened to him last season.  Was there contact with the head?  Absolutely.  Was there a penalty?  Hahaha of course not.  Like I said on twitter during the game, I hate to make the analogy but if Matt Cooke throws that hit he's suspended before he left the ice.  Don Cherry probably thought this was a clean hit.  Wonder what Nick Foligno's thoughts are.

Kris Letang was back on the ice for overtime.  What a warrior.  Should just win the Norris Trophy for coming back out for overtime.  
Letang apparently has a broke nose.  Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.  And Letang would make his presence felt.  Letand fed the puck to Neal who did some ridiculous move and somehow got a shot off.  The shot was saved and Price seemed to have the puck frozen but the puck squirted lose and who found it?  Letang.  Boom.  Game over.  Pens win 4-3

3 Stars
1.  Kris Letang
2. Erik Cole
3.  Fisher Price

Quick Thoughts
  • Good game from Paul Martin for the most part.  Huge play on the Dupuis goal
  • Carey Price cried after the game

This is how we feel about that.

  • Pascal Dupuis man
  • Jordan Staal is in beast mode this season
Ranger on Tuesday at 7.  Get ready for more crying.

Go Pens

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Carey Price's Postgame Whining Session

Our Response:

Game 24 - Pens at Habs

Centre Bell
ROOT Sports
Tonight marks Sidney Crosby's return to action in his native Canada.  Fittingly, the game is on Hockey Night in Canada, which means that not only will the start be delayed an hour to do the Canadians retiring 911 in honor of Max Pacioretty, but you also get to hear Don Cherry talk about how hockey players with helmets are soft.  Or hear him berate women.  Or Russians.

Vintage stuff right there.  On the bright side CBC always has pretty legit intros.  
Really no point in going over every reason we have to hate Montreal.  The entitlement mentality, PK Subban, Carey Price, Mike Camelsomething, the 2010 playoffs.  Perhaps Fleury spoke for all of us when he mocked Price last time the Pens played in Montreal.

Lines from Empty Netters 

Chris Kunitz - Sidney Crosby - Pascal Dupuis
Steve Sullivan - Evgeni Malkin - James Neal
Matt Cooke - Jordan Staal - Tyler Kennedy
Arron Asham - Joe Vitale - Craig Adams

Kris Letang - Brooks Orpik
Paul Martin - Zbynek Michalek
Matt Niskanen - Deryk Engelland

MAF (we're guessing on this)


Mike Cammalleri - Tomas Plekanec - Erik Cole
Max Pacioretty - David Desharnais - Brian Gionta
Travis Moen - Lars Eller - Mathieu Darche
Frederic St.-Denis - Petteri Nokelainen - Aaron Palushaj

Josh Gorges - P.K. Subban
Alexei Emelin - Raphael Diaz
Hal Gill - Yannick Weber


RECAP. LOLOtttawa. Pens WIN

The Ottawa Senators and Sergei Gonchar were in town last night.  Always a fun time playing the Sens especially when it seems like we've played them 1000 times over since the 2007 season.  Did you know the Michalek's are brothers?
Nick Foligno is a baby.

1st Period
Sens got on the board early.  Some jobber with a bizarre name beat MAF to make it 1-0.  That lasted long.  Crosby threw a sick pass to Kunitz who beat Anderson.  1-1.  Then TK would add one.  His initial shot was saved by Anderson but TK picked up the rebound behind the net and banked one in off Anderson to make it 2-1 Pens.  Then the Sens started going to the box faster than fans file out of Consol in the 3rd period.  Pens got a 5 on 3 and cashed in.  Sullivan picked up a that missed the net and tried hitting Neal with a pass but Chris Phillips tipped it it.  3-1 Pens.  Remember when Chris Phillips put the puck in his own net in the Stanley Cup Finals?
This ended up being the game winning goal in that game.  Ducks won the Cup that game too.

Then Evgeni Malkin decided to get in on the act.  Geno sniped Anderson and before you know it 4-1 Pens.  Sens pull Anderson and Alex Auld was put it.  Auld finally stopped the bleeding for the time being.  3 points for Sid in the 1st Period
Pic via @lisarec on twitter
2nd Period
Pascal Dupuis is on another level right now.  Never seen him play like this since coming to the Pens in the Hossa trade.  If you tell me Dupuis was going to be the biggest piece of the Hossa trade you're lying.  Dupuis gathered a puck in front and beat Auld to make it 5-1.  Someone tried putting the life back into the Sens when they made it 5-2.  

3rd Period
Jordan Staal who is probably playing his best hockey he's played as a Penguin right now.  Staal did some unreal work on the boards to keep the puck then ripped a wrist shot passed Auld to make it 6-2.  Don't even care the Sens made it 6-3.

3 Stars
1. Evgeni Malkin
2. Sidney Corsby
3.  Tyler Kennedy.  Kennedy

Quick Thoughts
  • Sidney Crosby looks as good as ever
  • Pascal Dupuis has his balls in everyones mouth
  • Jordan Staal is in full on beast mode
  • Paul Martin didn't suck
After the game Nick Foligno started to cry.  Shocker.  A player from one of Canada's NHL teams crying?

He said "I just kind of got a little frustrated he would do something like that, so I went back at him.  It's not a big deal, but it's something he preached all summer about, that we should limit that, and he goes and does it.  It's over now. But I was disappointed he did that."

The situation Fagligno is crying about occurred in the 3rd Period.  Fagligno was standing in the crease and started bumping MAF.  He even knocked him over a couple times and wouldn't let him get back up.  Sidney Crosb, doing what he's supposed to as Captain, came to MAF's defense.  He started taking shots to try to get Foligno out of MAF's way.  Well after a few pushes and an uncalled slash by Foligno on Sid, Crosby got position and put an elbow into Foligno's grill.  Nothin malicious about it.  Just a bump to move Foligno.  But Foligno being the bitch he his decided to cry about it.  Check the replay.  Foligno sucks.

Pens play Habs in like 2 seconds.  Get your hate ready.

Go Pens

Thursday, November 24, 2011

RECAP. Feeling the Blues. Pens LOSE

Yes I just used that title.  Get over it.

St Louis was in town last night.

If you want to see what the first 2 periods looked like, after you eat Thanksgiving dinner, vomit all over yourself. That was the first 2 periods for the Pens.  Horrible passes, players falling everywhere, barely any shots.  Worst period of hockey I've witnessed since 2005 probably.  Some jobber scored in the first after Paul Mart made an awful turnover then deflected the shot and it found it's way passed Fleury.

Pens finally woke up in the 3rd.  Steve Sullivan tied it on the power play.  Someone scored for the Blues to make it 2-1 with about 10 minutes left.  James Neal tied it at 2 with around 5 minutes left.  People actually left the game at this point.  Someone was playing games on an ipad all game long near me.  Game would go to overtime where Alex Pietrangelo would win it for the Blues.

Quick Thoughts
  • Worst game the Pens have played this season.
  • Pens were lucky to get a point
  • Paul Martin has been awful this season
  • MAF was sharp.
  • Brooks Orpik had a monster game.  Wrecked lives in the 3rd 
  • No Points for Crosby.  
Sens come to town tomorrow at 7.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Go Pens

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Game 22 - Blues at Pens

Root Sports

No idea what to think of the St. Louis Blues.  They're 10-8-2 on the year, so they aren't awful, but they are a middle of the pack team.  They do have Jaroslav Halak, but he's hurt.  Brett Sterling also plays on their 4th line.  Some Devils castoffs are there too.

Lineups from The Pensblog


Chris Kunitz - Sidney Crosby - Pascal Dupuis
Steve Sullivan - Evgeni Malkin - James Neal
Matt Cooke - Jordan Staal - Tyler Kennedy
Arron Asham - Richard Park - Craig Adams

Kris Letang - Brooks Orpik
Zbynek Michalek - Paul Martin
Mat Niskanen - Deryk Engelland

Marc-Andre Fleury


Alexander Steen - David Backes - T.J. Oshie
Chris Stewart - Patrik Berglund - Matt D’Agostini
Chris Porter - Jason Arnott - Jamie Langenbrunner
Brett Sterling - Scott Nichol - Ryan Reaves

Barret Jackman - Kevin Shattenkirk
Ian Cole - Alex Pietrangelo
Kris Russell - Roman Polak

Brian Elliott


Bruce Boudreau's Pens Envy

Some bogger (see what I did there) over at the Washington Compost posted an article about Bruce Boudreau complaining about Dan Bylsma.  Probably one of the most ridiculous articles that has been written this year.  LINK

The article starts with Steinberg talking about a convo with a Pens fan friend who sad she hates BBQ Bruce.
"I pointed out that Boudreau had never complained about there being too many hats on the ice after a hat trick."
Interesting comparison of a head coach to a captain who you envy.

Now onto the Boudreau quotes about 24/7

“The part that ticked me off the most was when they started showing their coach,” Boudreau said. “And their coach at Christmas was down in the basement playing with his kid. He’s never played in the basement with his kid. Teaching him, well this is how you do this. Bull****."
Because no father ever played with his kids on Christmas morning with their new toys.  Is Boudreau admitting to stalking Bylsma here?
“Like, I was down there, they filmed me and my son playing, and I was body checking him into the wall and everything. So they didn’t want us to look good...."
If Bruce Boudreau was my dad and body checked me into a wall, I'd call children services for child abuse.
“The funny part to me, they showed Dan Bylsma. I coached him at one point, and he was a good guy. But they showed him at Christmas, at home, just eating with his wife and child. Remember that part? They’ve got Christmas music piped in through the house. Who, at home, has dinner with their wife and child [listening to Christmas music]? And they’re all dressed up in their suits, eating [formally]. We were eating, they’re filming, they’re this close, there’s spaghetti all over my shirt, the cat’s licking the food off the floor. That’s not real. They wanted us to look bad.”
I don't see what you coaching him has to do with this.  I know plenty of people who dress formally and listen to Christmas music on Christmas Day.  Ever hear of family traditions?  And having food on your shirt is a common theme for you during this series. 

Let's be honest Bruce.  You made yourself look like a bumbling idiot during 24/7.

 We are waiting for Texas Ted Leonsis to respond to our post with why we are wrong.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

RECAP. He's Back. Pens WIN

The New York Islanders were in town last night.  It was like the 3543 time the Pens have played the Isles already.  And unfortunately for the Islanders, the best player in the world returned last night.

1st Period
4 minutes in Sidney Crosby reminded us who he was.

Brooks Orpik would add a goal in the 1st to make it 2-0.  Sid had an assist.
1 Period.  2 points.

2nd Period
1st Period was all Penguins and 2nd period was more of the same.  
Crosby ripped a one timer on the power play that killed 2 Islanders.  87 got the puck fed Letang who found Malkin down low.  71 stuffs it in 3-0.  
Soon after Malkin made a sick pass to Sullivan.  4-0.  Crosby didn't get a point on that goal.  Trade him
This happened.
The terror on that ladies face is priceless.
2 periods.  3 points for Sid.
Via Steve.  Fans left with 5 minutes left in the 2nd Period.  Jokes
3rd Period
Crosby wasn't finished.  He completely abused some joke behind the net and along the boards.  Then threw a backhander ton the net.  Goal.  5-0
3 Periods 4 points.  Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

3 Stars
1 Sidney Crosby
The rest really doesn't matter

Quick Thoughts
  • A little over 15 minutes of ice time for Crosby
  • Pascal Dupuis is in the top 30 in the league in points.  He also has more points than Ovechoke
  • Crosby is on 11 points behind Ovi
  • Crosby passed like 300 some people in points last night
  • Crosby also took a couple big hits.  1 was into the boards.  He got up and stuck his balls in the Isles mouth
  • Sidney Crosby
  • Don't forget to vote Matt Cooke into the All Star game.
  • Sidney Crosby
  • Had to listen to a Flyers fan and a Caps fan bitch about Crosby yesterday.  Flyers fan argument was "He's the biggest pussy in the NHL"  Caps fan argument was "Ovechkin creates shit out of nothing"  Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
  • Suck it
Blues come to town tomorrow at 7

Go Pens


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Crosby Returns

It's over.  Dan Bylsma = Ed Harris

RECAP. Vomit. Pens LOSE.

Not doing a full recap.  Might not do one until the Pens win again.

Pens got out to an lead.  Panthers tied it about 7 minutes later.

Panthers took the lead in the second.  Jordan Staal who is playing some of his best hockey tied it.

Stephen Weiss scored with about 6 minutes left to give the Panthers the win.

Isles on Monday at 7.

Go vote Matt Cooke for the all star game.

Go Pens

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Emergency Game 20 - Pens at Panthers

Whenever we hear Pittsburgh and Panthers mentioned together, we think of Dave Wannstedt.  He does have ties to Miami too.

No idea if Florida runs a high-octane offense or not. 

Go Pens

Friday, November 18, 2011

RECAP. Feels a little like April. Pens LOSE

No chance in hell we're doing a full recap.

Tampa's 1-3-1 is blocking us.

Panthers tomorrow at 7:30

Go Pens

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Game 19 - Pens at Lightning

Root Sports

The Pens play the Lightning tonight for the first time since last season's heartbreaking, if not somewhat relieving, loss in Game 7 to end last season.  We say relieving because there was no way that team could get past the second round without Crosby and Malkin, as well as Dustin Jeffrey.

There has been a lot of talk about the 1-3-1 over the past week or two, mainly because the topic of the trap was discussed at owner's meetings.

Most obvious choice for a picture ever
Philly's response to the trap played a role in the discussion as well.  There is also the chance Chris Pronger is just getting senile in his old age and is forgetting where he is and why he's there.

Very interesting to see how Bylsma handles the 1-3-1.  Trap defenses have been a weak point for him in the past.

We also have an exclusive picture of Martin St. Louis's car.

Lines from The Pensblog:


Steve Sullivan - Evgeni Malkin - James Neal
Chris Kunitz - Jordan Staal - Pascal Dupuis
Matt Cooke - Joe Vitale - Tyler Kennedy
Arron Asham - Richard Park - Craig Adams

Brooks Orpik - Kris Letang
Paul Martin - Deryk Engelland
Alexandre Picard - Matt Niskanen

Marc-Andre Fleury


Nate Thompson - Steven Stamkos - Martin St. Louis
Tom Pyatt - Vincent Lecavalier - Teddy Purcell
Adam Hall - Dominic Moore - Brett Connolly
Ryan Shannon - Steve Downie 

Matt Gilroy - Eric Brewer
Marc-Andre Bergeron - Pavel Kubina 
Victor Hedman - Brett Clark
Bruno Gervais 

Dwayne Roloson

We assume Tampa is rolling 7 Defensemen because Guy Toucher believes Sidney Crosby might play.
Third line is pretty much Pens leftovers from 2007.
Ryan Malone got a paper cut counting his money and will not play.

Go Pens

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

RECAP. Suck It Varly. Pens WIN

The Colorado Avalanche were in town last night and played a great first period but after that...well not so much. Still trying to figure out if the Pens defense played the first period or not.

1st Period
Malkin goes coast to coast early and beats Varlolmov but the cross bar said "Fuck you Geno."  Feels like every time Neal-Malkin-Sullivan are on the ice they're going to score.  Not much happened until Aaron Asham busted some joke open during a fight.  A ton of action in the first.  There was a long period of time without a whistle until T.J Galiardi boarded Brooks Orpik.  Pens couldn't do much with the power play but got a little help when Cooke was hauled down.  Pens had a 5 on 3 for almost a minute.  Avs would kill it because the Pens couldn't pull off the perfect play the so desperately wanted.  Probably a huge momentum shift in the period because the Avs finally started to sustain some pressure.  And it payed off.  One of the Avs banged home a rebound because whoever was played defense failed to push him away from the goal.  The Matt Duchene scored one of the sickest goals you'll see to make it 2-0.

It looked like the Pens were going in to intermission down 2 but Jordan Staal would roof one on Varlolmov to make it 2-1.  But the Avs had other ideas.  David Jones would make burn Paul Martin making him look like Mike Green and beat Fleury to make it 3-1 Avs heading into intermission.

2nd Period
During the first intermission Dan Bylsma must have shown his dick to someone because a different Penguins team cam out for the 2nd period.  Other than an early Matt Duchene chance the Avs really didn't must much in the 2nd...or the 3rd for that matter.  Pens had a power play but...well you know.  About half way through the period the Pens would bring themselves within 1 when Varlolmov went to cover the puck but it squirted free and Pascal Dupuis was there to poke it in making it 3-2.  James Neal almost scored like 4 goals after that.  But they went wide.  Neal would they take a penalty later in the period bringing the Avs top ranked power play out against the Pens top ranked penalty kill.  The Pens top ranked penalty kill told the Avs to suck it.  Pens killed it and Matt Cooke almost scored I think.  
This is when the season ticket holders that sat beside me left.  Jokes

3rd Period
The Pens wasted no time tying this game.  Brooks Orpik put a puck on net it him something or someone and floated above Varlolmov.  As Varlolmov was about to grab the puck out of the air his accidently looked Brooks Orpik in the eyes, got scared, and missed the puck and it went in to tie the game at 3.  The Pens were on fire.  You knew it was just a matter of time until they scored another goal and there was nothing the Avs could do to stop it.  It finally happened when Evgeni Malkin showed that Matt Duchene wasn't the only person on the ice capable of scoring sick goals.  The puck made its way to Malkin, Malkin undressed Gabriel Landeskog then walked in and made Semyon Varlomov look like...well...Semyon Varlomov.  4-3 Pens.
Landeskog's jock is probably still over in the corner somewhere.

Avs would take a penalty.  2 words.  James.  Neal.  Power play goal 5-3 Pens.  Avs would go to the box again.  They were going to the penalty box more often than Mark Madden was going to blush.  Avs would kill it though.  The Kris Letang got into the action.  Letang would get the puck in his own zone, embarrass some Avs player at the blue line, skate in and beat Varlolmov back hand to make it 6-3 Pens.  THEE END.

Pens win 6-3

3 Stars
1. James Neal
2. Evgeni Malkin
3. Kris Letang

Quick Thoughts
  • Great game from Evgeni Malkin.  Best goal we've seen him score in a while
  • No clue what Paul Martin is doing but whatever it is it's not playing defense
  • We eventually get to add Sidney Crosby to this team.  Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.
  • Gay Doucher probably thinks Sidney Crosby is playing tomorrow.  Hope Bylsma sends him out for warm ups just to mess with everyone.
Pens/Bolts tomorrow at 7

Make sure you vote for Matt Cooke to go to the All Star Game.

Go Pens