Sunday, October 30, 2011

Tom Brady > Big Ben

Doesn't have to force himself onto college girls to get laid either.  WOOOOOOO

RECAP. Plan The Parade. Pens LOSE

Not a chance in hell we're doing a full recap.

Malkin took 2 bad penalties that lead to Leafs goals.

He got one back to tie the game at 3.

Pens left Kessel wide open late in the game.  Kessel scored.  Pens would lose 4-3.


  • Pens scored twice on the power play
  • Pens PK let up 2 goals
  • Pens don't play a game til like 2013
  • No clue what we're doing til Thursday
  • Sharks on Thursday at 10:30
  • Crosby watch should be in full effect in a few days
  • Ron Wilson thinks Phil Kessel and Dion Phaneuf are the best players in the world at their positions.  Right.
Go Pens

Saturday, October 29, 2011

GAMEDAY 13. Pens @ Leafs

Air Canada Centre 7 p.m
TV: ROOT Sports, CBC
Radio: 105.9 The X

The Pens make their first trip of the season to Toronto tonight.  No matter how bad or good the Leafs are every season Pens/Leafs is always a close game.  Phil Kessel and James Neal are tied for the lead league in goals with 9.

No Staal tonight.  Injured himself somehow when he wrecked John Tavares' life Thursday night

Probably pondering a way to acquire Phil Kessel's brother for unlimited draft picks.

Pens lineup via


Brent Johnson

For the Leafs via
Joffrey Lupul-Tim Connolly-Phil Kessel
Clarke MacArthur-Mikhail Grabovski-Nikoli Kulemin
Matthew Lombardi-Tyler Bozak-Matt Frattin
Philippe Dupuis-David Steckel-Mike Brown

Carl Gunnarsson-Dion Phaneuf
Jake Gardiner-Luke Schenn
John-Michael Liles-Mike Komisarek

Jonas Gustavsson

If the Leafs win expect to hear about it for the next week and a half.  They'll probably plan their Stanley Cup parade too.  Hopefully Jame Neal scores 100 goals tonight and give Kessel the DX chop.

Go Pens

Friday, October 28, 2011

RECAP. Comeback City. Pens WIN

The Islanders were in town last night.  Yes the Pens just played them like 3 seconds ago.  And last night we saw something we haven't seen in a long time.  The Pens coming back in the 3rd period.  The last time the Pens did that was in 2010 in the playoffs against Ottawa.  We also saw one of the most bizarre decisions ever right before the shootout.  We'll get to that later.

1st Period
We were at the game last night so excuse us if this post is mud.

Pens had an unreal shift to start the period.  Pens had the puck in the Islols zone for sometime and had a few chances but couldn't bury anything.  The Malkin-Sullivan-Neal line is something else.  Islols looked like they were still in the locker room.  John Tavares is probably one of the laziest players ever.  Dude never back checks.  Pens got a power play.  Staal found the back of the net but the goal was waived off because of incidental contact with the goalie.  Don't like the call but if it happened to MAF of course we'd want the same call.  Then some bizarre play happened.  We watched the puck go up the ice and looked back and Matt Niskanen was on top of someone then Comeau the homo tried to jump Brooks Orpik.  Comeau the homo got so close to Orpik at one point it looked like he was going to kiss him.  No clue what happened.  Somehow the Pens came out of that with a power play.  Had some chances but couldn't score.  MAF went to get the puck behind the net and tripped and some Islolander had a chance but MAF tripped him up and the puck was cleared.  With only a minute left Franz Nielson found the puck in front and put it home to make it 1-0 Islols.  

2nd Period
Pens had a ton of chances in the 2nd.  Came out on fire.  Nabokov was stellar all night.  Stood on his head every chance the Penguins had.  Pens showed Gary Bettman announcing the draft was coming to Pittsburgh next year.  A few boo's that were eventually drowned out by some cheers.  Guy helped save hockey in Pittsburgh.  No reason to boo him.  Pens had some power plays in the 2nd.  Malkin whiffed on unlimited one timers.  

3rd Period
45 seconds in the Islols would make it 2-0 when Matt Martin found a loose puck and snuck it past MAF.  Balls.  Crowd was out of it all night and that goal was a killer.  Until Chris Kunitz made an appearance.  He found a loose puck around Nabokov and put it home to make it 2-1.  
She's back!!!  Same girl that predicted 2 goals last game predicted a Kunitz goal last night.  Getting kind of scary.  The crowd finally woke up and James Neal made sure they stayed awake.  Probably one of the prettiest plays we've ever seen led to a goal from James Neal.  Malkin found Kunitz in front who found Neal who buried it as Nabokov was going the other way.  No goalie makes that save.  Ever.  What a play.
This went on in front of us all night.

  Then it was MAF city.  Save after save after save after save.  MAF was solid all night.  Can't blame him for the 2 goals against.  Garbage city.  Pens had to kill a penalty and it was MAF city again.  HUGE saves during the PK.  Final few minutes had tons of actin.  Neither team would score and we'd head to overtime.  Take that point any day.

Grab balls had a breakaway early but completely missed the net.  Malkin went coast to coast and almost scored but no dice.  Kris Letang was hauled down and the Pens had a 4 on 3 for about 35 seconds.  Worst.  Power play. Of.  All.  Time.  4 on 3 and didn't even get a shot off.  Heading to a shootout.

This is where things got really bizarre.  First hundreds of fans left right before the shootout.  Jokes.  Then Right before the shootout Fat Jack Capicola pulled Evgeni Nabokov in favor of Fragile Rick DiPietro.  Nabokov was solid all night.  His reasoning behind it, Nabokov was fatigued.  Yep.  (Video of that is on look under their recap)  Didn't think it took that much energy to stand in front of the goal and face 3 shots.  Whatever.  Kris Letang was up first.  Grizzly Adams Glassjaw stopped it.  Franz Nielson was up first for the Islols.  Yeah right.  Malkin up 2nd for the Pens.  Money.  DePietro went for some bizarre poke check, completely missed and Malkin went right around him and buried it.  
Then P.A Camelteau was up for the Islols.  Stoned.  James Neal had a chance to win it.  Nope.  Then John Tavares had a chance to keep the shootout going.  Poke check city.  Game.  Pens win 3-2.

3 Stars
1. Chris Kunitz
2.  Evgeni Malkin
3.  Matt Martin

Quick Thoughts
  • Malkin had 2nd most ice time for the Pens.  Only player that had more was Kris Letang
  • Malkin is posessed
  • Orpik/Engelland pair was on the ice for both Islols goals
  • Rick DiPietro: 0 minutes played.  Gets the loss
Pens next game is Saturday at 7 against the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Just in case you didn't get enough:

Go Pens

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Game 12 - Islanders at Penguins

7:00 p.m.
Consol Energy Center
Root Sports - Missing important plays since 2011

Last time the Islanders played at Consol Energy Center Brent Johnson broke Rick Dipietro's face:

Only like 10 years left on that contract, Garth Snow and Charles Wang.

No clue what this has to do with anything
Pens played the Islanders on Tuesday on Long Island, shutting them out at home.  How stupid is your franchise if you hang a banner for some musician?

Billy Joel sucks
Really not a ton to say about this game.  It would be a great suck it to all 10 Islanders fans to beat them in back to back games after the event that shall not be mentioned.  Malkin is back in the lineup tonight as well, with Flower in the cage.  Evgeni Nabokov is in net for the IsLOLanders.

Go Pens

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

RECAP. Long Island Shutout. Pens WIN

The Pens were on Long Island last night.  Just typing that sentence make me feel dirty.  The Islanders had a "Commitment to New Rivalries" page on their website to try to get people to actually show up to their games.  Yeah that didn't work.  Arena was almost empty.  Trevor Gillies didn't play.  What a shame.  This game was probably over before it even started because the Islanders fans were banking on some fight but no MacIntyre + No Gillies and Haley = no fights.  The crowd was never in the game.  So much for commitment.

1st Period
Evgeni "I don't want to play for the Islanders" Nabokov was in goal last night.  He had something like an 8-1 record against the Pens.  Neal had a chance early but was stopped by Nabokov.  A lot of up and down hockey in the first.  Neither team had to many really good scoring chances.  Later in the period Malkin had a chance in close but someone blocked it.  Dupuis had a shot that found its way through Nabokov but it was cleared before Malkin could put it home.  The Orpik found Dupuis on a breakawy and Dupuis beat Nabokov to make it 1-0 Pens.  Really bizarre mega zoom on Brooks Orpik after he made that pass.  ROOT Sports sucks.  What a pass by Brooks Orpik to spring Dupuis.  Late in the period Fleury stoned Tavares.  Tavares sucks.

2nd Period
Pens would get on the board early after Aaron Asham forced a Tavares turnover and found the Asian Sensation Richard Park who beat Nabokov 21 seconds in to make it 2-0 Pens.

Someone called that

gonna call a richard park goal. just cause i wanna

Soon after that Kunitz hit the crossbar.  The Islanders had some chances but MAF was solid all night.  The Islanders got a power play after Lovejoy "tripped" Grab balls.  To bad Grab balls went down like he was trying out for the Olympic dive team.  Pens killed it.  Pens pk is killing penalties at something like 98%.  That is unreal.

3rd Period
3rd period, up 2, on Long Island.  Meltdown?  No  This Pens team is different.  There is something about them that makes us feel confident they won't meltdown in the 3rd like they did last year.  MAF robbed Moulson early.  The puck looked like a beachball to MAF last night stopped all 33 shots the Islanders threw at him.  How the Islanders had 33 shots is beyond me.  Pens got a 4 minutes power play after Jordan Staal took a stick to the face.  The power play went something like this.  Pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass.  The Pens moved the puck well they just didn't get many shots.  Orpik threw the ouck over the glass and the Isles had another power play.  Like they were scoring.  The Isle would pull their goalie with almost 3 minutes left.  Staal would score to make it 3-0.

This happened

i'm calling a staalsy goal now. ok


3 Stars

1. Marc Andre Fleury
2. Pascal Dupuis
3. Richard Park

Quick Thoughts
  • Great game from Paul Martin
  • Sometime in the 1st period 3 Islanders fans tried starting a "Let's Go Islanders" chant.  That didn't work
  • MAF is on another level right now
  • James Neal didn't score
Pens play the Islanders again Thursday at 7 in Pittsburgh

Go Pens

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Game 11 - Pens at Islanders

No, we aren't

Nassau Coliseum
7:00 p.m.
Root Sports

The Pens return for the second game at the Nassau Garbage Dump since the Valentine's Day Assault there.  Not even going to post it because it isn't relevant anymore.  New season, new teams, and new Mario Lemieux posters hanging on our walls.

The Pens have owned the Islanders since the lockout, posting a win percentage of over .700.  Who can forget those three goal comebacks there early in the 2008-2009 season?  Let's face it.  The Islanders suck and will probably be in Kansas City in a few years.

Game notes:

-Malkin is a game time decision
-Gillies will probably be scratched.  We are curious as to how he will feed his family tonight.
-Scott Burnside sucks

Go Pens

Monday, October 24, 2011

Michalek out a month

The injury bug bites again.  The Pens finally had their entire defensive squad together, but that lasted all of 4 seconds.

Zbynek Michalek will be sidelined for a month with a broken finger.



Go Pens

Sunday, October 23, 2011

RECAP. Devils Advocate. Pens WIN

Don't expect a full recap.  Its Sunday.

Devil's were in town.  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.That's basically every Devils game because or the boring ass trap.  Didn't know it was still 1995.

Jordan Staal was flat out nasty last night.  2 goals.  2nd goal was disgusting.

James Neal scored his 849758962398 goal this season.

Another solid game from MAF.

Michalek Island left the game early after blocking a shot.  FUCK.

Pens actually don't play in 5 minutes.  Next game is Thursday on Long Island.  You know what that means.

Go Pens

Friday, October 21, 2011

RECAP. Priceless. Pens WIN

Montreal was in town last night and it marked the return of Brooks Orpik and Dustin Jeffrey to the Penguins line up.  The Penguins owned Montreal all from the first faceoff to the final buzzer.  Not even sure if Montreal actually showed up last night.  Most disinterested performance from an NHL team I've seen in a long time.  No clue how Brian Gionta is their captain.

1st Period
Half the lower bowl behind the penalty boxes is empty.  Unreal.  Habs look lost.  Pens pressuring everywhere.  No clue how man times the Habs took 65 foot shots right at MAF.  Pens had a power play.  Yeah that didn't go well at all.  Mathew Darche had a breakaway short handed but its Mathew Darche so you know how that turned out.  Pens got on the board first when James Neal rung one of the post that bounced back and hit Carey Price then trickled into the net.  1-0 Pens.  The rest of the period was kind of whatever.  Only thing that happened was Carey Price robbed Sullivan.  Can't wait til he finally buries one.  The lower bowl finally filled in...kind of.

2nd Period
Deryk Engelland lit someone up in the neutral zone.  Too bad it wasn't Subban.  Pens would get on the board early when Engelland threw the puck to the net and Joe Vitale deflected it passed Price to make it 2-0 Pens.  The second period looked like the Pens were doing some JV/Varsity scrimmage.  That's how bad Montreal looked last night.  The Pens did have to kill off unlimited penalties in the 2nd but the JV's had no clue what a power play even is.  Their power play looked worse than one that Mike Yeo ran.  Subban ran over Cooke even though the puck was no where near Cooke.  Finally the fans realized a game was still being played and P.K Subban is a dick.  Got boo'ed pretty much the rest of the game.

3rd Period
First stoppage in play people in the section I was in got up and left.  17 minutes left in a 2 goal game?  Come on.  Pens would make it 3-0 when Deryk Engelland dumped the puck into the zone and the puck bounced up in the air and Aaron Asham would bat it home.  Montreal was pretty much already in their hotel rooms.  Didn't care at all the rest of the game.  Michalek had a breakaway but was stopped.  With about 8 minutes left the first mass exodus from Consol started.  Jokes.  MAF was 1:36 away from a shutout when some joke threw the puck to the net the puck was deflected by someone and went in.  Then the 2nd mass exodus from Consol started.  Come on.  People started wooing too.  Whatever, Pens win 3-1

3 Stars
1. Marc Andre Fleury
2. Deryk Engellad
3. Aaron Asham

Quick Thoughts
  • Definitely more confident in this Penguins team without Crosby and Malkin than we were last season without Crosby and Malkin
  • Great to have Brooks Orpik and Dustin Jeffrey back
  • The mass exodus from Consol is embarrassing.  If you don't care enough about the game to stay the whole game quit renewing your season tickets and let the real fans have them.  There are thousands of people, including the students that stand outside for hours and hours and wait for a student rush ticket, that would like your ticket jokes.
New Jersey rolls into town Saturday at 7.

Go Pens

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Game 9 - Habs at Pens

Root Sports, RDS

Your logo looks like a toilet seat

Unlimited hate for the Habs.  Still haven't gotten over them ripping out our collective hearts in the last game at Mellon Arena and PK Subban curb stomping Jordan Staal's foot.  Hal Gill makes a return to Pittsburgh tonight.

On the bright news on the Pens injury front, Brooks Orpik is back.  We assume this means Strait is out of Pittsburgh and back to WBS soon.  Malkin, Neal, and Kennedy did not skate this morning, so we're clueless on lines.

Bring it.  Go Pens

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

RECAP. Bizarro World. Pens WIN

The Penguins were in Minnesota last night.  And to say their roster was depleted is an understatement.  The Pens were without Crosby, Malkin, Kennedy, Jeffrey, Letang, and Orpik.  This had the making of one of those games that made you want to put your head through the wall.  Last night the Pens 6 d men were Deryk Engelland, Brian Strait, Zbynek Michalek, Paul Martin, Ben Lovejoy, and Matt Niskanen.  Totally thought the Wild were scoring 100 goals last night.  But that's why they play the game.

1st Period
Wild got a power play early.  They're coached by Mike Yeo so you should know how that went.  Johnson had to make a good save on Brodziak.  Wild had another power play but couldn't do anything with it.  This period can be summed up one way:
Yawn city.  At least the Wild didn't score 8 seconds in.

2nd Period
The 2nd period got started off with a bang.  Dupuis put one on the platter for Kunitz 22 seconds in and Kunitz launched a bomb past Backstrom to make it 1-0 Pens.  The Wild would get a power play but, well you know.  Then later in the period the hockey gods would strike again.  Brian Strait would come up lame on what seemed to be an innocent play in the corner.  He cam out holding his wrist, left the game and wouldn't return.  On the same play Joe Vitale took a stick to the face which gave the Pens a 4 minutes power play.  The Pens would cash in when Jordan Staal spun around some defenseman found the puck and put it into an open net to make it 2-0 Pens.  The Pens still had half of the 4 minute power play to work with.  They wouldn't get anything on it but Cal Clusterfuck and his pedophile mustache scored a short handed goal to bring the Wild within 1.  Cooke hit a pot late in the period and the Pens had to kill of another penalty.

3rd Period
Over the last few season, especially last season, we have come accustomed to watching the Pens blow a 3rd period lead.  And with the roster that was on the ice last night you fully expected it to happen again.  It almost did but Johnson, who was solid all night robbed Matt Cullen.  Then the Pens did something they rarely did last season in the 3rd period.  Pad their lead.  Joe Vitale worked his sack off and helped force a turnover.  James Neal gathered the puck went down the left wing and ripped a shot passed Backstrom to give the Pens a 3-1 lead.  A few minutes later Pens fans everywhere held their collective breath when Johnson got bowled over and stayed down for quite some time.  Wild fans booed but they gave away orange hunting hats as a promotion so.  Johnson stayed in the game and kept his balls in the Wild's mouth.  Johnson robbed a couple more shots and the Wild eventually  got another power play.  One game Bob Errey said that every time the Penguins penalty kill is on the ice they have a chance to score, and that's just what they did last night.  Cooke through a pass to open ice and the Wild forgot they were playing hockey and Dupuis grabbed the puck at center ice and was on a breakaway.  Dupuis walked in waited for Backstrom to flop on the ice like a fish and put one passed him to make it 4-1 Pens.  Wild would get one back to make it 4-2 but that is all the closer they would get as the Pens would win 4-2.  

3 Stars
1. Brent Johnson 
2. Cal Clusterfuck
3. Jordan Staal

Quick Thoughts
  • Great game from Jordan Staal
  • Joe Vitale has been extremely solid so far
  • Steve MacIntyre only had 23 second of ice time.  
  • Some girl tweeted to the Penguins asking where Max Talbot was
Montreal comes to town Thursday at 7.  Get your hate ready.

Go Pens

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

GAMEDAY 8. Pens vs Wild

Pens are in Minnesota.

Letang got suspended for 2 games today.

Engelland, Strait, Michalek, Martin, Lovejoy, Niskanen are our 6 defensemen for the next 2 games.  Yikes.

Shanahan sucks.

Fuck everyone.

Go Pens

RECAP. Takeoff. Pens LOSE

Dear Winnipeg, Fuck off.

Definitely the most annoying game so far this young season.  The crowd was annoying the refs were annoying, everything was just annoying.  You knew this game was coming.  As a Pens fan you know they have games like this every season.  They can never beat the bad teams when they're supposed to.  The Jets hadn't won this season and of course they'd get their first win against the Pens.  Can't wait til the Jets move again in 6 years.  
They should just make this the Jets logo.

1st Period
8 seconds in Jets score and you know its just going to be one of those games.  Michalek Island fell and the Jets went in 2 on 1 and Wellwood buried it.  Jets almost scored on the ensuing faceoff.  Good God. Jets had unlimited scoring chances to start the game.  Game could have been 7-0 in the first but MAF was sharp.  Pens had a power play.  One if the Jets players tripped over his vagina and the Jets fans felt entitled to a power play.  No clue why every fans from Canadian teams always feel entitled to get every call.  Didn't even get a shot.  Pens didn't get a shot until about 12 and a half minutes into the game.  They finally started getting some chances late in the period.  Neal hit a post and Kunitz missed an empty net on a rebound.  And of course the Jets would get a chance and bury it.  Tanner Glass made it 2-0.  Yikes.  What a gay name.  Had a feeling this was gonna be an ugly game.

2nd Period
Pen had a power play early.  Nothing.  Dupuis had a chance on a breakaway but Pavelec robbed him.  Staal hit a post too.  Pens just couldn't get any bounces last night.  Jets got a couple power plays.  1 of them was an absolute joke when James Neal pushed someone and their stick broke.  Refs were absolute garbage last night.  Winnipeg got away with unlimited hits from behind and interferences.  Games in Canada are so annoying.  Jets couldn't get anything on their power plays.  The Pens finally broke through late in the 2nd.  Off a set face off play Michalek Island ripped a shot from the point that beat Pavelec to bring the Pens within 1.  Of course the Jets fans cried because Matt Cooke bumped Pavelec.  To bad the puck was in the net jokes.  Kind of surprised the Jets fans understand the new NHL rules since they hadn't played in 15 years.  Jets got a power play late in the 2nd after their fans cried again.

3rd Period
The Jets power play carried over to the 3rd.  They couldn't get anything.  Bogosian went on some unreal end to end rush and hit the post.  Was waiting for him to score and the Winnipeg fans to burn the place down.  Tons of back and forth action in the 3rd.  Tick tick tick.  Pens got a power play late in the 3rd.  Fleury had to rob a short handed chance.  Pens got nothing.  Power play is mud without Malkin.  They're something like 1 for 23 without him.  Pens pulled MAF.  Nothing.  Pens would lose 2-1.

3 Stars
1. Ondrej Pavelec
2. Marc Andre Fleury
3. Alexander Burmistrov

Quick Thoughts
  • Where is Mark Letestu?
  • Steve MacIntyre is a waste of a roster space
  • Kris Letang had a meeting with Brendan Shanahan for a hit on Alexander Burmistrov.  Brian Strait has been called up just in case.
Here's the hit in question.  When are people going to stop turning their backs right before they get hit.  Plus Burmistrov lost his footing.  No way this should be a suspension but the precedent Shanahan set in the pre season we wouldn't be surprised if Letang got 5 games. 

Shanahan sucks.  The Jets suck.  Pens play Minnesota in like 10 seconds.

Go Pens

Monday, October 17, 2011

GAMEDAY 7. Pens at Jets

MTS Centre
8:30 p.m.
TV: Root Sports, TSN

The Pens take on the Atlan...sorry the Winnipeg Jets.  This is the Pens first game against Winnipeg since 1996.  The Jets added nothing in the off season, so this is the same team that let Mike Comrie score the last goal against the Thrashers in their history.


Pens lineups via

Chris Kunitz-Jordan Staal-Pascal Dupuis
Steve Sullivan-Richard Park-James Neal
Matt Cooke-Mark Letestu-Aaron Asham
Steve Macintyre-Joe Vitale-Craig Adams

Kris Letang-Deryk Engelland
Paul Martin-Zbynek Michalek
Ben Lovejoy-Matt Niskanen

Marc Andre Fleury

No Tyler Kennedy who apparently got a concussion against Buffalo.

Jets lineup via

Andrew Ladd-Bryan Little-Blake Wheeler
Alexander Burmistrov-Nik Antropov-Kyle Wellwood
Brett MacLean-Mark Scheifele-Tim Stapleton
Tanner Glass-Jim Slater-Chris Thorbourn

Tobias Enstrom-Dustin Byfuglein
Johnny Odouya-Ron Hainsey
Mark Stuart-Zach Bogosian

Ondrej Pavelec

The Jets have looked horrendous this season.  They haven't won a game yet and have only scored like 5 goals.  The Pens were 4-0 against this team last year and there is no reason they shouldn't continue that trend this season.  James Neal should score 5 goals tonight.

Go Pens 

Sunday, October 16, 2011

RECAP. Balls. Pens LOSE

Buffalo was in town last night.  Apparently they spent a lot of money in the off season.

Whatever.  Emo Miller is gonna choke in the playoffs again anyways.

Enroth played for the Sabres last night and of course was made to look like Patrick Roy most of the night.

Sabres scored 2 early in the 1st.  James Neal scored his 5th of the season to make it 2-1 Sabres in the 2nd.  Sabres added one in the 3rd to make it 3-1.  Pens would bring it with in 1 when Staal scored with about 4 minutes left.  Pens couldn't tie it late and would fall 3-2.

Whatever.  At least we still don't bitch about a call that happened 11 years ago.  Wooooooo.

Pens next game is Monday at 8:30 against the Atlant....sorry, Winnipeg Jets.  Pens haven't beaten the Jets since 1996..........Too bad that was the Jets last season.

Go Pens

Friday, October 14, 2011

RECAP. Knocked Out. Pens LOSE

The good ole Washington Capitals were in town last night for their first meeting of the year with the Pens.  It's always a good time when the Caps come to town even though they've owned the Penguins in the regular season.  The Caps can do whatever they want to us in the regular season, but when April and May roll around, well, you know what happens.  

During warm ups Haagen Dazs was behind the Caps bench and our boy Cy (MalkinMania71) walked up yo the glass behind him and put one of his famous signs making fun of Boudreu up against the glass right behind Boudreu.  Well saucy face turned around, saw the sign, and immediately turtled into the locker room.

1st Period

Its always a good idea to get on the board early against the Caps since they have unlimited offensive firepower.  That's just what the Pens did.  A little over 2 minutes into the game Malkin cut across the ice taking the entire Caps team with him basically, dropped the puck to Sullivan who dished an unreal pass over to James Neal who ripped a one timer past Vokoun to make it 1-0 Pens.  The goal doesn't happen with out that pass from Sullivan.   The Pens dominated the rest of the period.  The only thing was, they couldn't score. They had chance after chance after chance to go up 2-0 but couldn't.  Vokoun was Voukoun every time he plays the Penguins, shaky.  He was leaving juicy rebound after juicy rebound, Stevie Wonder could have put one of them home.  But not the Pens.  They went to the break up only 1-0.  Pens out shot the Caps 12-3 in the 1st period.

2nd Period

The 2nd period start for the Caps similar to how the first started for the Pens.  With a quick goal.  Mike Knuble powered to the net and somehow the puck found its way through Johnny to tie the game at 1.  That goal woke the Caps up.  After that goal they were in the Pens mouth for most of the period.  I remember saying to my friend the Pens needed some kind of stoppage or Washington was gonna score.  They almost did multiple time.  Every time the Caps had the puck in the Pens zone for about a 10 minutes stretch it felt like they were going to score.  But they didn't.  Johnny and the defense held the fort and kept the game tied at 1.  The Pens finally got their chances later in the period but they couldn't put anything home either.  We would go to the 3rd tied at 1.  

3rd Period

Business was about to pick up.  The Caps got another quick goal early in the period when Vespa shot one at the net and Ovi deflected in.  Green celebrated like he just saw God but the play kept going.  The puck was in and out of the goal so fast it looked like it just hit the crossbar and bounced out.  But the play would be reviewed and it was determined the puck went in the net and the Caps were up 2-1.  We were just waiting for the Caps to get another one but this happened:

That got the crowd and the Penguins fired up.  Asham told Ovi to fuck off at one point.  Ovi's balls were so wound up after that he forgot how to play hockey.  The Pens were flying.  Ovi was trying to dance around everyone but he was stranded on Mickhalek Island all night.

The Pens kept buzzing.  It felt like they were going to get one.  And their golden opportunity came late in the period on the power play.  The Pens had about 935637586 power plays last night but couldn't score...until this one.  Malkin flew into the Caps zone dished one across to James Neal and before Vokoun could realize what happened Neal and the Pens were celebrating and the game was tied at 2.  Both teams would have a bunch of chances late but no dice.  On to OT.  Take that point any day.  Pens out shot the Caps 18-3 in the 3rd.


The Pens were buzzing in OT.  Malkin and Kunitz both had chance to win it.  The Caps hadn't had a power play all game.  But then when Jordan Staal, who probably had the worst game of his life, "tripped" Ovi the Caps got their power play.  Ovi dove but whatever.  The Caps got the power play and out course cashed in on it when Wideman beat Johnny to give the Caps the win 3-2.  RAISE ANOTHER BANNER.

3 Stars

1. Dennis Wideman
2. James Neal
3. Mike Knuble

The Aftermath
So much fallout from this game, where do we begin?

John Carlson is a dick.  He said this to some girl on twitter

Ovi and Karl Alzner cried.
"It's not [Beagle's] job to fight. It looked kind of unrespectful (sic). I don't know … I think it's kind of unrespectful."-Ovi
"It doesn't surprise me. I'm not surprised by a lot of things that happened. [Media relations director] Sergey [Kocharov] should probably listen to me talk here before I go stupid. Just some of the comments by their fans and stuff is just unbelievable. It's classless. But I know that happens in fights. It's really crappy to see. Have some class a little bit, ya know?" - Alzner
Not sure if Alzner has ever fought anyone in his entire life.  Not quite sure who Karl Alzner even is.

Asham didn't do anything wrong in our opinion.  When he did what he did he was getting the crowd and his team fired up and it worked.  He wasn't taunting Beagle he was playing to the crowd.  If he would have stood over Beagle and chirped him a la Trevor Gillies to Tangradi, then that's different.  Asham skated away and played t a crowd.  Ovi just needs something to cry about and Karl Alzner is just a pansy.  Get over yourselves assholes.

Puck Daddy has more:

Flyers fans even got into the mix

Go down to the mentions from 14 hours ago.  Business picks up then.  First tweet was someone telling me to eat shit because I called Flyers fans out for booing a Hockey Fights Cancer add.  Business picks up after that.

Sabres come to town Saturday at 7

Go Pens

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Game 5 - Craps at Penguins

ROOT Sports, NHL Network

The always hated Washington Capitals come to town to play the Pens.  The Pens haven't won a regular season game against Washington at home since 2007 (although the playoffs are another matter).  The "rivalry" has been trumped up by the mass influx of the Capitals bandwagon and Ted Leonsis making keyboard love to his players on the blog.

Pittsburgh got their $5 footlongs, so it's time for us to get ours.
Interesting storyline for Washington signing Vokoun in the offseason and starting Neuvirth.  Now Neuvirth is sick so we assume Vokoun will start tonight.  Vokoun has to be upset at being the backup though, and he got lit up the other night.

Lineups from the Pens website.




Malkin is a game time decision and Crosby is not playing, so we assume Vitale will be in for Sid.





Mike Green sucks.  Go Pens

Kunitz re-signed

This is not Chris Kunitz

Per the Pens website, Chris Kunitz has been re-signed to a two year deal through the end of the 2013-2014 season.  Props to Shero for getting this done now and without a raise from his current cap hit.

Not  much else to say except Kunitz hits everything in sight and was on pace for 30 goals last year until Sid went down.

Grab your sack and compete

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

RECAP. Declawed. Pens WIN

This recap is going to suck because 1 I missed the game and fell asleep watching the replay at 2 in the morning and 2 Steve was too smashed to remember anything

The revamped Florida Panthers were in Pittsburgh last night.  The Pens won all 4 meeting with the Panthers last season and not much changed this season.

The Pens had to kill off 27 penalties in the opening minutes.  Pens killed them all and had a few power plays of their own.  Even though the power play looked good they couldn't manage to put the puck in the net.  The Pens finally got on the board when Pascal Dupuis put home his own rebound to make it 1-0 Pens.  The Pens scored their 2nd goal of the game when Joe Vitale flew into the Panthers zone and dished a sweet pass to Matt Cooke who put home his 3rd of the year to make it 2-0 Pens in the 2nd.  Florida would cut the lead in half but the Pens would get it back when Richard Park launched a bomb that hit the post and bounced off a Panthers defenseman and into the net to make it 3-1 Pens.  In the 3rd the Panthers would cut the lead to 1 when Tomas Fleischman scored to make it 3-2 Pens.  But the Pens would ice it away when Staal powered around the Panthers defensemen and the puck found its way to James Neal who put it home to make it 4-2.  Fleury would try to hit an empty net but the puck was knocked down.  The game would end 4-2.

Quick Thoughts
  • Jordan Staal looked unreal.  Used his size to his advantage.  Did some unreal move on the Pens 4th goal.
  • No moment of silence for Cotton Candy guy.  Pretty disappointing.
  • Other than Crosby and Malkin Matt Cooke got one of the buggest ovations.
  • If you haven't seen it yet Jeremy Roenick had a meltdown last night.  Here's the link for it via The Pensblog. (
  • Are you ready?  Caps come to town on Thursday.
Go Pens

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

GAMEDAY 4. Pens vs Panthers

Consol Energy Center.  7:30 p.m.
TV: ROOT Sports.  Versus.  TSN2
Radio.  105.9 The X

Its finally here.  The Pens regular season home opener.  The Pens return home after 3 games in Western Canada in which they got 5 out of a possible 6 points.  Tonight the Pens welcome the Florida Panthers.  What a bizarre home opener.  Its never a Panthers game unless this is mention 843502465 times:
5:22 mark.  VOMIT

Last season the Pens took all 4 meetings against a horrible Panthers team who finished last in the East.  I mean, they let Chris Conner score against them for crying out loud.  And we all know Chris Conner's last memory in Pittsburgh.

The Panthers are always a pain in the ass to play.  And after adding a million and one players in the off season they'll be an even bigger pain in the ass to play against.  They added Jose Theodore who is like 19-4 or something against the Pens.
This is how I choose to remember Jose Thoedore.

No Malkin again tonight.  Only word on him is that he is sore.


Penguins lineups via

No clue about any Panthers lines.

Quick thoughts:
  • Kinda curious if Crosby will skate out for introductions tonight
  • No Malkin or Orpik still
Go Pens

Sunday, October 9, 2011

RECAP. Flames Extinguished. Pens WIN

The Pens traveled to Calgary last night for their second game of the season as they took on the Calgary Flames. This was the Flames first game of the season.

1st Period

You could tell it was the Flames first game of the season.  Other than the sirens, lasers, and bizarre drums, the Flames came out flying.  The had multiple opportunities to score early in the first but couldn't find the back of the net.  Geno took a penalty early in the period but the Pens killed it off.  The Pens then had a power play about half way through the period but it looked like some 3 year old drew up the game plan for it.  15 minutes through the period the Flames would get on the board first when Curtis Glnncross beat Fleury on a one timer to make it 1-0 Flames.  The Pens didn't look to good in the 1st period and were lucky to only be down 1 going into intermission.

2nd Period

The 2nd period was a whole different story for both teams.  The Pens had some unreal bounce in their step the entire period and the Flames looked so disinterested it looked like they were forced to be at a high school dance with Ugly Betty.
Guarantee the only reason the Flames showed up to play this period was because they actually had a lead for once.  The scoring got started a minute into the 2nd when Tyler Kennedy came out of the box an walked in and sniped Kiprusoff to make tie the game at 1.  5 minutes later Matt Niskanen scored on the power play after his shot was blocked 56 times to make it 2-1 Pens.  4 minutes later Craig Fuckin Adams found the back of the net to make it 3-1 Pens.  2 minutes after that Evgeni Malkin tallied his first of the season on the power play to give the Pens a commanding 4-1 lead.  Then things started to get a little chippy.  As Matt Cooke came down the right wing Corey Sarich came in and elbowed Matt Cooke in the head.  It's already been confirmed the Brendan Shannahan will review the hit and Sarich may be punished additionally.  He was given a 2 minute roughing penalty on the play.  A few minutes after that happened Malkin has his stick slashed out of his hand and when he went to pick it back up Curtis Glencross pushed the stick away and Malkin got into it with Glnncross.  Punches were thrown and Malkin's jersey was pulled over his head because it wasn't tied down.  Luckily Malkin got away with only a roughing penalty.  If he would have gotten into a fight he would have been kicked out of the game.  

3rd Period

The Penguins are kings of having horrible 3rd periods.  This one was no exception.  They had a few chances early on but couldn't do anything with them.  Both teams played pretty horrible for most of the period.  Then the Flames started to pick shit up.  About 9 minutes through the period Rene Bourque tipped a shot in to make it 4-2 Pens.  The Flames would get within 1 when who else, Olli Jokinen scored to bring the Flames within 1 at 4-3.  But the Pens would hold the fort.  Chance after  chance went by the waste side for the Flames and they just couldn't find the equalizer.  Jordan Staal would ice things away with 4 seconds left when he found an open net to give the Pens a 5-3 victory.  

3 Stars
1. Kris Letang
2. Mark Giordano
3. Curtis Glencross

Pens play again in like 2 minutes against the Edmonton Oilers

Go Pens