Friday, January 31, 2014

RECAP. King Me. Pens WIN



When the Pens and Kings get together you can usually bank on seeing a really good game.  The teams usually go back and forth trading chances and its usually a low scoring goalie duel.  Last night was different.  It was the 1st period and then a snooze fest.  

The Pens got on the board 1st, 57 seconds into the game, when Evgeni Malkin was left alone 2 feet in front of an open goal.  Cardboard Orpik could have scored it.  Then the Kings answered and it looked like we were going to have a shootout.  Then something happened that I have never seen before.  Evgeni Malkin was doing whatever he wanted in the Kings zone.  He was simultaneously slashed and hooked by Dustin Brown and Jarret Stoll.  Both penalties were called and the Pens got a 5 on 3.  And they cashed in twice.  First Chris Kunitz was left wide open in the slot.  He ripped a one timer passed Quick to make it 2-1.  Then Jussi Jokinen ripped a wrist shot by Quick to make it 3-1.  After the 1st Quick was yanked in favor of Martin Jones.  The game went in to a lull and things didn't get better for the Kings.  Tanner Glass yes Tanner Glass made Robin Regher look like a fool then roofed a back hander top shelf to make it 4-1.  The game went back in to a lull.  Jeff Zatkoff had to make a few nice saves but that was it.

1. Jussi Jokinen
2. Evgeni Malkin
3.  Screw Matt Niskanen we are making Zatkoff the 3rd star

  • Zatkoff was solid.  No clue how he wasn't named a star.
  • 36-71-18 were doing whatever they wanted.
  • Robin Regher should probably retire after being embarrassed by Tanner Glass.
  • Letang missed last nights game because he was sick.  Robert Bortuzzo took his place and, once again, was really solid.  
  • Pretty sure no King other than Anze Kopitar showed up last night.  Johnathan Quick sucks.
Pens next game is tomorrow in Glendale against the Coyotes at 8.

Go Pens

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Pregame: Pens at Kings

Staples Center. 10:30 PM. Root.

The Pens and their mommy's are on the West Coast to face the Kings. Penguins-Kings games are usually some of the most entertaining games of the year and these two teams are about as evenly matched as possible. Over/Under for Hollywood stars at this game are 10.5. Jeff Zatkoff is in net because he used to play for the Kings. The Kings have been shutout two of their last three games including outdoors at Dodger Stadium on Saturday. This one will be worth staying up for.

Lines (from The Pensblog)
Kunitz - Crosby - Gibbons
Jokinen - Malkin - Neal
Glass - Sutter - Megna
Pyatt's Eyes - Adams - A Stool

Orpik - Martin
Scuderi - Bortuzzo
Maatta - Niskanen


King - Kopitar - Carter
Lewis - Richards - Williams
Clifford - Mr. Erin Andrews - Captain America (maybe)
Nolan - Fraser - Toffoli

Muzzin - Doughty
Regehr - Voynov
Mitchell - Greene


- Crosby first game in LA in like 932 years.
- Natalia Malkin is unfortunately not with the rest of the momma's in her bikini on the beach, Rumors have it that Putin needs her making borscht for the Olympics
- Letang late scratch
- Hollywoooooood

Go Pens.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

HF Boards: Random Trades

So with the Olympic break in like 69 minutes, trades might start flowing in the NHL before the roster freeze. Where else to go to look for some of the "Best" trade rumors out there than our good friends over at the HF Boards.

Our first trade comes from our good buddies from the Great White North in the great city of Toronto. Warning: You may want to grab paint thinner or something after reading this deal.

Mason Raymond

Matia Marcantuoni + 2014 4th Round Pick

The only thing I would give up for Mason Raymond is a 7th and even that's probably too much.

Nikolai Kulemin

Matt Niskanen

I decided to get this one out of the way early so that we can move on from this.

With this post, there aren't enough stupid Penguins trades on the website to do a post of all Penguin trades so we're just gonna look at some of the league wide trade offers on here as well. Sometimes, they're just as enjoyable and don't wanna make you drive off a cliff.

Here's a great Florida and Edmonton trade...

Alexsander Barkov
Dimitry Kulikov

Nail Yakupov
Oscar Klefbom
2015 1st

This deal would take place after the draft, by why in the hell would Florida trade two of their promising young stars for an underachieving winger, a D prospect, and a first round pick. Pretty sure you have to fail an IQ test to post here.

This isn't really a proposal but someone said Letang or a package around Letang for Jordan Eberle.

First of all, NO. Second of all, what makes you think a Letang + deal is worth Jordan Eberle? Theres no way. Get out of here.

Here's a couple trades that were put together in one post. Prepare to be dumber after this.

Brandon Sutter
2014 1st

Sam Gagner

Mike Weaver

2014 2nd Round Pick

Matt Moulson

2014 1st

Ray Whitney

2014 2nd
2014 5th

Ales Hemsky

2014 3rd
2014 4th

Mike Cammaleri

2014 1st
Patrick Maroon

Tomas Vanek

2014 1st

Jake Allen
2014 1st

Ryan Miller

Let's break these down. Why would the Penguins trade Brandon Sutter for Sam Gagner and also add a first round pick. There's no way, no way.  The Flyers probably do the trade with Florida because they don't have enough shitty defensemen. Matt Moulson to Vancouver for a 1st makes complete sense for both sides, especially Buffalo. The next two are whatever. Mike Cammaleri can go wherever on the West Coast, keep him away from the Penguins. Vanek to the Habs and the Isles get Fucale in return makes a lot of sense on both sides. Last but not least, why in the hell would the Blues trade their top goalie prospect for Ryan Fucking Miller.

Claude Giroux

Shea Weber


Sad thing is, Holmgren does this.

Monday, January 27, 2014

RECAP. Ryan Miller Sucks. A Lot. Pens WIN


Pretty boring game all around minus a 5 minute span in the 2nd.  Chris Kunitz scored and then Deryk Engelland made it 2-nil.  How bad of a goalie are you that you let Deryk Engelland scored on you.  Nothing else really happened until Tanner Glass bagged an empty netter to make it 3-nil.  If the Pens were playing any of the 28 other teams they probably lose this game to be honest.  Whatever.  Buffalo sucks.

1. Marc Andre Fleury
2. Chris Kunitz
3. Tanner Glass

Pens next game is Thursday night in LA at 10:30.

Go Pens

NHL Outdoor Games

So unlike another blog, we actually like to write about current events in the NHL. Today I wanted to touch on the topic of the NHL Outdoor Games, especially the Stadium Series. If you don't recall, when the NHL announced that they would have multiple Outdoor Games this season, a lot of people on twitter were upset that the NHL would ruin the Winter Classic. We actually disagree with that argument and believe that the Outdoor Games might be the best thing to happen to the NHL since Sidney Crosby.

One argument that the Stadium Series isn't ruining the Winter Classic is the fact that it would be weird to play a Winter Classic in LA. By having the Stadium Series, you're giving all of the warmer climate teams an opportunity to play an outdoor game. If you watched the Ducks-Kings game on Saturday, you have to realize that the atmosphere was awesome. The announcers said that the crowd was into it and fans of both teams were trying to out cheer the other team. Look at the celebrity drawing the game had also. Some of the biggest celebrities in Hollywood showed up for this game. 

The NHL also picked probably three of the best venues to host an outdoor game for the Stadium Series. Dodger Stadium is the third oldest baseball venue in the US and has hosted some of the biggest baseball games ever. We don't even need to explain the significance of Yankee Stadium and Soldier Field is probably the second most famous NFL stadium behind Lambeau Field.

As we all know, the NHL has made some mistakes over the years, but with the outdoor games, they really hit the ball out of the park (no pun intended). The NHL is at the most, the third most popular North American sport (I put them in a tie with the NBA even though the NBA gets all of the media coverage, the NHL has better attendance numbers). If you take a sport played on ice outdoors, people are going to watch and I believe the NHL's ratings for all of the outdoor games have been the highest of any regular season NHL game ever besides maybe some Gretzky, Lemieux, or Crosby milestone game. The NHL also have put good matchups outdoors that will draw a crowd. The worst one they have done is Wednesday's Rangers-Islanders game and yet, the New York rivalry still will make it intense. The NHL has also put their brightest stars in the spotlight outdoors and those players have shined. Crosby in 2008, Datsyuk in 2009, Chara in 2010, Ovechkin 2011, Lundqvist 2012, and this year they put the team who draws the biggest road attendance outside in a stadium that holds 110,000 people with their American Rivals. Next years Winter Classic, the Caps and Flyers will also be a good matchup because of the proximity of the two teams and its now a division rivalry.

One of the biggest positives from the Outdoor Games is, it helps raise the salary cap. Without these games, the NHL doesn't generate near the revenue that they do with it and I would say 6 outdoor games generate the league over a Billion dollars that they wouldn't have otherwise. By taking the game outside, you allow your teams to spend more money on players and also you help grow the game to an audience that may not see it otherwise.

The only complain that I have about the outdoor games is that most of them take place during the afternoon. If you watched the 2011 Winter Classic or the Stadium Series game with the Kings-Ducks, the NHL just looks amazing under the lights. Every outdoor game should be at night. 

I hope next year the NHL decides to do more than the Winter Classic because if you take this game outdoors, regardless of the teams, sign me up because I'm gonna watch. Every time I watch a game outdoors, I'm just in awe of how amazing each atmosphere is. The NHL found something special and I hope it continues.

Go Hockey.

PREGAME. Pens vs Sabres

7:30.  ROOT.  NBCSN.

Do yourselves a favor tonight and watch the NBCSN feed and not ROOT.

After s short road trip the Pens return home to face the Buffalo Sabres who own the worst record in the NHL.  The Pens won the last meeting between these two teams.  Ryan Miller will be in goal tonight.  And to that we say:

and of course:

Lines via our imagination

Chris Kunit-Sidney Crosby-Brian Gibbons
Jussi Jokinen-Evgeni Malkin-James Neal
Tanner Glass-Brandon Sutter-Jayson Megna
Taylor Pyatt-Craig Adams-A Chair

Rob Scuderi-Kris Letang
Brook Orpik-Paul Martin
Olli Maatta-Matt Niskanen

Marc Andre Fleury

Matt Moulson-Tyler Ennis-Ville Leino
Steve Ott-Cody Hodgson-Zemgus Girgensons
Marcus Foligno-Brian Flynn-Phil Varone
Linus Omark-Zenon Konopka-Matt Ellis

Henrik Tallinder-Tyler Myers
Christian Erhoff-Chad Ruhwedel
Jamie McBain-Mike Weber

Ryan Miller

Those Buffalo lines could be completely wrong.  Wtf is a Zemgus Girgensons and a Chad Ruhwedel?  Are those even real names?

The Pens look to get back on track tonight after a poor showing in Dallas

Go Pens

Sunday, January 26, 2014

RECAP. Starship Pain. Pens LOSE

This is all you need to know about that game

Buffalo comes to town Monday night

Go Pens

Saturday, January 25, 2014

PREGAME: Pens vs. Stars

American Airlines Center. 8:00. ROOT

It's been a hot minute since the Penguins (36-13-2) faced the Dallas Stars (23-20-8). Last game between the two teams was on February 29th, 2012 and the Pens won 4-3 in overtime.

Hey guys, remember when the Stars traded Neal and Niskanen to us for Alex Goligoski? I wonder who got the better end of that deal? Trollololol.


Kunitz - Crosby - Kobasew
Jokinen- Malkin - Neal
Pyatt- Sutter - Megna
Glass - Ebbett - Adams

Martin - Orpik
Scuderi - Letang
Maatta - Niskanen


Benn - Seguin - Nichushkin
Roussel - Eakin - Garbutt
Cole - Fiddler - Whitney
Peverley - Horcoff - Chiasson

Goligoski - Daley
Benn - Dillon
Rome - Gonchar