Tuesday, December 31, 2013

RECAP. Farts. Pens LOSE



The Pens put about as much effort into this game as we are putting in to this recap.  6 people will probably read this anyways.  Pens were flat in New Jersey.  Shocker we know.  The final 5 minutes of this game were horribly mismanaged by OCDB.  Didn't take a TO late in a power play to get his big guns out there.  Instead he left Brandon Sutter, Chris Connor, Brian Gibbons, Deryk effing Engelland, and Simon Despres out there. Oy.  It's new years eve.  Go party or something.  Oh and watch the shit fest that's gonna go down in the Winter Classic between the Leafs and Wings.  It'll be like watching a Steelers game.  Woooooooooooo.

Go Pens

Gameday: Pens at Devils

Prudential Center. 1 PM. ROOT.

The Pens look to end 2013 on a high note with a win over the division rival Devils. This may be the last time the Pens play the Devils this season, so this could be the last time we see Double J (until Ray Shero trades for him in a month). With a win today, the Pens will enter 2014 with a 16 point lead on the 2nd place team in the Metrosexual Division.

Kunitz - Crosby - Vitale
Conner - Jokinen - Neal
Kobasew - Sutter - Gibbons
Glass - Sill - Adams

Orpik - Engellend
Niskanen - Scuderi
Bortuzzo - Despres


Zubrus - Zajac - Double J for Life
Clowe - Henrique - Ryder
Elias - Gionta - Bernier
Boucher - Loktionov - Janssen

Greene - Fayne
Salvador - Zidlicky
Gelinas - Merrill


  • Olli Maatta healthy scratch. Well deserved/needed for him
  • Geno is close
  • We love Jagr
  • Ryane Clowe sucks, like who spells their name like that? Chode.
  • Not sure who some of those guys on the Devils are.
  • Happy New Year

Do It.

Go Pens.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

RECAP: Columbus Got Nealed. Pens WIN



Well it looks like Haylie was burning down doors or cutting people with her vampire teeth or some shit instead of doing a gameday so this is awkward but whatever. Pens rolled through #Lumbus and ho hum got another 2 points. James Neal had another outstanding game and Jeff Zatkoff was solid in net for the Pens. Pens look like they have a pretty solid 1-2 combo with Fleury and Zatkoff in net.

Not really sure what happened the first 5 minutes because I missed it but apparantly Brandon Dubinsky remembered he was an NHL player or some shit and scored. James Neal sniped one on the Powerplay to tie it up. Pens ended up getting like 2 more Powerplays the remainder of the period with one carrying over to the 2nd period. 1-1 after One.

Pens didn't do much on the overlapping Powerplay, and then play just kind of continued for a couple minutes. About 9 minutes in, James Neal deflected a pass out of the Columbus zone which fell right on to Sidney Crosby's stick. Crosby found Neal in the slot, Snipeeeeeee. 2-1 Pens. After that, Corey Tropp thought he was playing NHL14, dangled Olli Maatta, went backhand-forehand and slid the puck under Zatkoff's pad to tie it at 2. Can't really be mad when someone pulls a move off like that, we just wish we knew who Corey Tropp was. Underrated aspect of this period was that Zatkoff made some big saves to weather a storm by the Jackets.

Third period was kinda of tentative in the early going. It was tough to get a feel for how this game was going. Both teams got early Powerplays in the 3rd but nothing really happened on them. Period seemed to be humming by and both teams kinda seemed okay with getting atleast a point and then the Penguins sort of kind of took over. Crosby made some unreal play with a bouncing puck, fed it to Kunitz who gave it back to Sid. We're not really sure how the puck got in the net but it did which gave the Pens a 3-2 lead. Crosby has like 939 points already this year, that may or may not be an exaggeration. A minute or two later, some jobber on the Jackets decided to hit Craig Adams with a high stick and Team Canada's top line went to work on the Powerplay. Neal to Crosby with a dirty sauce pass to Kunitz who one timed it into the back of the net. Pretty sure Kunitz tried to shoot it through the net. 4-2 Pens. With about 5 mins left in the period, someone tripped Crosby and it looked like the Pens were just gonna work the powerplay and let time trickle off, but James Neal wanted a hat trick and somehow scored. 
Some guy for the Jackets ended scoring a knuckle puck goal with like 1:30 left. Didn't matter. Pens Win 5-3
1. James Neal
2. Sidney Crosby
3. Corey Tropp


- James Neal First Career 5 point night.
- 3 more points for Sidney Crosby. Yawn.
- Pens have 14 wins against the Metrosexual divison. 14.
- James Neal has 8 points in last two games, did we mention Evgeni Malkin hasn't been playing?
- Speaking of Evgeni Malkin, he video bombed Neal again.

Pens last game of 2013 is Tuesday in NJ at 1 pm.

GO Pens.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

RECAP. Back at it. Pens WIN


The Pens were back at it after the 3 day Christmas break.  They were in Raleigh to take on the Carolina Hurricanes.  Really have no motivation to do a full recap.  Our bodies are still on break.  So you get the bulleted version.

  •  The game had a pretty sick pace to it at the beginning.  A lot of up and down stuff.
  • Pens got a power play.  The ref stopped play after losing sight of the puck.  After reviewing the play we saw the puck cross the line.  But the ref said he had already blown the whistle and that the play was unreviewable.  So a play that was just reviewed is unreviewable.  Ok.
  • The Canes ended up scoring first.  Some jobber scored with like a second left in the first.
  • Best In The World tied it 16 seconds in to the 2nd.  
  • 14 seconds later Nathan Gerbe gave the Canes the lead.
  • In the 3rd period Chris Connor, yes, Chris Connor dangled some one in the slot and backhanded a shot 5 hole on Peters to tie the game at 2.
  • Justin Peters sucks.
  • Deryk Engelland who was unfortunately back in the lineup gave the Pens a lead.  
  • With under 5 minutes to go the Canes ended up tying it.  The game went to OT.
  • James Neal sniped one in OT to give the Pens the win.
  • Carolina sucks.
Pens next game is tomorrow in Columbus.

Go Pens

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Podcast City

2nd Podcast of the season.

No real order to this.  We are all over the place for most of it but that's normal.  You also don't have to turn your volume up all the way anymore!  Ignore the choppiness of this.  First recording a new computer. 

Listen below.

Go Hockey

Monday, December 23, 2013

RECAP. Whatever. Pens LOSE


Whatever.  You knew a game like this was bound to happen sooner or later.  Pens have been playing there balls off with a mostly AHL lineup.  Worst news was Sidney Crosby landed on Pascal Dupuis' leg.  Didn't look good.  Maybe it will open the door for a Double J return.

Pens next game is Friday in Carolina.

And finally from the 3 of us here at Heyyyyy Fannnssss, Merry Christmas.

Oh.   We are podcasting tonight so look for that Tomorrow.

Go Pens

PREGAME: Pens vs. Sens

Canadian Tire Centre. 7:30. ROOT.

The Penguins (27-10-1) are taking on the Senators (14-17-7) in Ottawa tonight. This is the first meeting between the two teams since the Pens knocked the Sens out of the playoffs last season, winning the series 4-1.

Marc-Andre Fleury will be starting in net. The rest of the line-up is said to be "game-time decision" per Bylsma.

Sidney Crosby was named 2nd Star of the week for the week of Dec. 16th-22nd. He has 8 points off of 2 goals and 6 assists.

(Via Daily Faceoff; Keep in mind that Pens are GAME TIME DECISION)

Kunitz - Crosby - Dupuis
Zolnierczyk - Jokinen - Neal
Conner - Sutter - Vitale
Adams - Sill - Kobasew

Maatta - Niskanen
Bortuzzo - Dumoulin
Samuelsson - Despres


Zibanejad - Spezza - Michalek
MacArthur - Turris - Ryan
Greening - Smith - Neil
Kassian - Pageau - Condra

Cowen - Karlsson
Phillips - Ceci
Methot - Gryba


Injury Report:

  • PIT - Still have 21476236 injuries.


Sunday, December 22, 2013

Sidney Crosby Steals Episode 2 of 24/7

So as may of you know a couple years ago HBO started this highlighting the two NHL teams playing in that years Winter Classic in their 24/7 series.  The Pens and the Caps were in the inaugural show.  This year is the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Detroit Red Wings.  In episode 2 we rewind this past week to when the Pens hosted the Maple Leafs.  Things got chippy in that game and Sid and Leafs "Captain" Dion Phaneuf exchanged words.  This is where Sid steals the show.  Fast forward to about 43 seconds in.


Love seeing that side of Sid and not robot Sid.

Go Pens

Saturday, December 21, 2013

RECAP. Just Keep On Rollin. Pens WIN



The Calgary Flames rolled in to Consol Energy Center for an afternoon tilt with the Pens.  The Pens have won 7 in a row now and 12 in their last 13.  If I told you those wins would come with people playing defense with the names of Samuelsson, Dumoulin, Despres, Maatta, Niskanen, and Bortuzzo. And without Evgeni Malkin and James Neal for a chunk of time and Harry Keysmash on the second freaking line you would have laughed in  my face.  But here we are and the Pens youth movement or "Young Money" as they've been named recently just keeps winning.  Pens "Young Money" > Steelers "Young Money".  

The Pens had scored in the first minute of the last 3 home games prior to this one.  They couldn't extend it to 4 in a row.  The Pens did control the play in the 1st though.  Despite being out shot 6-2 the Pens were possessing the puck in the Flames zone for most of the period.  The Flames were just blocking a lot of shots.  But then the Pens got an opening.  Best In The World stole the puck from someone and put a shot on goal.  The puck trickled under the goalie to Pascal Dupuis who had a wide open goal to work with.  1-nil Pens.  Pens got another one soon after.  Robert Bortuzzo continued his acid and unicorn blood trip.  He got the puck out near the blue line and got himself to an angle where he could get a good shot off.  He put it on goal and Harry Keysmash deflected the puck past Kari Ramo to make it 2-nil Pens.

The Pens had a power play early in the 2nd.  They had a few chances on it but couldn't cash in.  That gave the Flames some momentum.  They were able to cash in too.  Some jobber got the puck at the point and put a shot on goal.  The puck hit the post, then Fleury and crossed the goal line.  2-1.  The Flames had a chance to get back into  it but then Sidney Crosby did this:


It looked like the Pens were gonna run and hide after James Neal deflected a Matt Niskanen shot to make it 4-1.  But Mike Cameltoe is a party pooper and made it 4-2 19 seconds later.  He undressed Matt Niskanen too.

Things got really interesting when Jiri Hudler, who apparently leads the Flames in points somehow, scored to make it 4-3 Pens.  But the Pens put the Jacques Martin Scorpion Death Lock on and the Pens finished off the game and won 4-3.

1. Best In The World
2. James Neal
3. Mike Cammalleri

  • Robert Bortuzzo was insane again tonight.  
  • MAF was solid again.
  • Ho hum just another 3 points for Best In The World.
  • The Pens lead the Metrosexual Division by like 984357 points.
  • Pens had a couple scares when Olli Maatta and Matt Niskanen both went to the locker room at points of the 2nd period.  Both guys returned though.
  • Chris Connor managed to be a minus 3 somehow.
Pens next game is in Ottawa on Monday at 7:30

Go Pens

Thursday, December 19, 2013

RECAP. It's Only a Maatta of Time. Pens WIN.



The Pens got back into Pittsburgh in the wee hours of the morning, this game was supposed to favor the Wild. It was the exact opposite. Minnesota would be 2nd in the Metro if they were, but they're not so that's kind of a dumb comparison. Matt Cooke made his return to Pittsburgh. Pens haven't trailed on home ice in like 317 minutes. Pretty unreal stat.

I missed the first period because I had another thing I had to attend to, so I'm going to summarize from Brandon's texts who was at the game.
  • Duper. 1-0
  • Unreal standing O for Cookie
  • Chris Conner just did a hand stand, so theres that
  • End of 1. Still 1-0 Pens
So thats what happened in the first period.

Early in the 2nd, Brandon Sutter decided he wasn't done from last night. Olli Maatta with just another point. Then 2 minutes later, the Wild took some penalty and the Pens made them pay. Niskanen rifled a shot from the point and I'm pretty sure no one saw it because it was in the back of the net in no time. We've been hard on Niskanen in the past, but he's playing unreal hockey right now, stick tap to him. The period seemed to be humming by and Sidney Crosby decided to be Sidney Crosby. Unreal pass by Best in the World to Kunitz. If Kunitz makes Canada, they might win Gold just because of those two. Take a look for yourself because that goal was too unreal to describe.
Thanks for our buddies over at the Pensblog for putting that into gif form. We give credit to where credit is due because we don't copy other blogs work without giving credit.

Anyways Pens looked like they were gonna run away with it but Jason Pominville made an unreal deflection and scored past Zatkoff. Pens probably still mesmerized by dat pass. Period ended with the Pens up 4-1.

A few minutes into the 3rd, half the Pens quit playing when Craig Adams broke his stick. Dany Heatley decided he was a hockey player and somehow scored under Zatkoff. 4-2 and it had a hold on to your butts kind of feel to it. Then Olli Maatta got called for hooking Nino whats his ass and then some jagoff decided he was gonna stop skating in front of Craig Adams and somehow they called a penalty on him, no clue. 5 on 3 for just under two minutes could've been what to doctor ordered for the Wild, but Robert Bortuzzo is on PCP right now and Zatkoff was impressive. Really impressive kill by the young Penguins. Right as Maatta's penalty ended, he broke up ice and someone hit him with a perfect pass, he got hooked and the ref gave him a penalty shot. Apparantly it wasn't the same ref in New York last night because it was no different than the Crosby breakaway. Here is the penalty shot courtesy of The Pensblog once again.
First Pens defenseman to score on a Penalty Shot since the Johnson Administration, seriously.

Not much happened after that except a couple jokers from the Wild decided to take a boarding penalty or whatever. Who cares, didn't matter at that point.

1. Maatta for Calder
2. Niskanen
3. Dupuis

- Three points for Olli Maatta. Also played 21:46. Unreal.
- Pens D is solid
- Bortuzzo is on Acid or some shit
- Crosby quiet two points. He's too good.
- Dupuis starting to warm up a little bit, not good for other teams.
- Pens lead Metro by 14 points (Jesus)

Next game Saturday at 1 vs Calgary

Go Pens.

RECAP. Young Money Does It Again. Pens WIN



The Penguins played this game with a second line of Harry Keysmash-Jussi-Jokinen-Brian Gibbons.  They played this game without 10 regulars.  They played this game with 8 players from Wilks Barre.  And yet, once again, found a way to win.  It wasn't pretty but 2 points is 2 points.

The first period felt a little like this:

Snooze city.

Second period started out pretty much the same.  But the Pens ended up getting a power play.  The moved the puck pretty well for the most part.  They finally got an opening.  Sid had the puck along the half wall.  Every Ranger was paying attention to him.  Jussi Jokinen slipped through and Sid fed him a pass.  He shuffled it to the net and Chris Kunitz put home the rebound.  1-nil Pens.  Pens lead wouldn't last long.  Carl Hagelin took the puck in the neutral zone and blew by Simon Despres.  He beat Fleury to tie the score at 1.

The 3rd period was insane.  Both teams were going back and fourth getting chances.  The Pens would finally cash in again.  Kunitz out worked some joke behind the net.  He got the puck and fed it cross ice to Best In The World.  He fed it back across the ice to a wide open Pascal Dupuis.  2-1 Pens.  About a minute later we had a little 4 on 4 action going on.  Brandon Sutter took the puck and absolutely embarrassed Michael Del Zotto.  He then roofed a back hander on Lundqvist to make it 3-1 Pens.
gif via The Pensblog.


But there was still a lot of time left.  The Rangers were coming  hard.  Their hard work finally paid off.  Someone put a shot on net and it trickled through Fleury.  Mats Zuccarello was there to put it home and make the scored 3-2 Pens.  Then with under 5 minutes to play Matt Niskanen took a high sticking penalty.  If there is one person on the team that absolutely can't take a penalty its him.  Just an unfortunate play.  Niskanen went to lift someones stick and missed and ended up high sticking him.  The Rangers went to work.  They came into the zone with speed.  A one timer missed the net but come out the other side.  Fleury didn't stand a chance.  3-3.  Both teams would get a few chances late in the period but no dice.  Overtime city.  

Overtime had an interesting start to it.  Kunitz was driving the goal and got a shot off.  Lundqvist came out of his crease to make the save which caused Kunitz to run him over.  Here watch the gif courtesy of who else but The Pensblog:
Your Pic

A few things about this play:
  1. Lundqvist is outside his goal crease.  He's has to protect himself here.  He's at as much fault as Kunitz.
  2. Kunitz does try getting out of the way but where is he supposed to go?
  3. Pretty apparent flop by Lundqvist.
Kunitz was called for goalie interference.  Horrible call.  Pens killed it off though. Both teams would trade chances but nothing doing.  Game would go to a shootout.

Before the shootout started Doc told us that Craig Adams would be shooting second. Whoever wrote the numbers down for him must be a moron because they wrote 27 instead of 87.  Deeeeeeeerp.  Anyways the Rangers would shoot first with Mats Zuccarello.  Fleury was in his mouth.  Pens first shooter was Jussi Jokinen by Lundqvist wasn't having any of it.  Rangers second shooter was Rick Nash.  I'm sure you could guess how that ended.  Fleury flashed the glove.  Best In The World would be second for the Pens.  Lundqvist said no.  The Rangers sent out Dominic Moore for some reason.  Like he was gonna score.  Chris Kunitz had a chance to win it but Lundqvist poked checked him.  Brad Richards would shoot next but he sucks too.  Lundqvist was able to stop Pascal Dupuis next.  Benoit Pouliot completely missed the net for the Rangers.  Then Brandon Sutter was up for the Pens.  He ripped one 5 hole on Lundqvist to give the Pens the win.

gif via The Pensblog
Bench celebrations are the best

1. Crosby
2. Dupuis
3. Zuccarello

  • In case you missed it Deryk Engelland was suspended for 5 games today.
  • If the season ended right now Marc Andre Fleury should win every award.
  • A couple gaffes by the Pens defense tonight but otherwise another solid game all around.
  • Evgeni Malkin is going to be re evaluated after the game tomorrow.
  • Speaking of tomorrows game James Neal returns.
  • And speaking of returns our good buddy Matt Cooke returns to Pittsburgh tomorrow.  Hopefully he gets a 5 minute video tribute.

Pens play Minnesota in like 7 seconds

Go Pens