Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Gameday 37: Canes at Penguins

Consol Energy Center. 7 pm.
TV: Root
Radio: 105.9 The X

Did you know Jim Rutherford used to be the GM of the Canes? Did you know the Staal's are brothers? Did you know Brandon Sutter was drafted by Carolina? If you didn't know all of that, be prepared for Paul Steigerwald to tell you 943084329980432 times tonight because how else would we want to end 2014 than Paul Steigerwald driving us to drink (more). Monday in New Jersey, our favorite Penguin legend (who needs to finish his career here and get his number retired) Jaromir Jagr told Mike Lange that he was better looking than Steiggy (duh) and that he doesn't understand why Lange isn't on TV (same). Anyways, on to tonights game, Jordan Staal returned Monday night after a broken leg. Good for him because we've always appreciated what he does. Looks as if the Penguins will get Beau Bennett and Christian Ehrhoff back tonight, so that's blessing in disguise. We want to run a Twitter contest tonight and the prize is a Wendy's Frosty so if you want a Frosty, be our guest and tweet us #BeauInjury and the amount of games you think he'll play before getting hurt again. Picks lock as soon as the national anthem is over (so roughly 7:08). Hartford Carolina enters tonight last in the Metrosexual and last in the Eastern Conference and they are currently 2nd in the Connor McDavid sweepstakes. Eric Staal and Justin Faulk are the Canes leading scorers. The greatest goalie of all time, Cam Ward is in net for Carolina.

Lines (via Daily Faceoff or a guess)

E. Staal - J. Staal - Lindholm
Tlusty - Rask - Gerbe
Skinner - Nash - Terry
Malone - McClement - Dwyer

Sekera - Faulk
Gleason - Jordan
Hainsey - Bellemore


Malkin - Crosby - Rust
Kunitz - Sutter - Bennett
Spaling - Goc - Megna
Klinkhammer - Ebbett - Farnham

Ehrhoff - Letang
Scuderi - Bortuzzo
Pouliot - Despres



  • The Penguins look to end a season long 4 game losing streak tonight
  • Pens and Canes split a home and home earlier this season with each team winning on the road.
  • Canes have lost 4 of their last 5
  • When you think of the Canes, you think of the Whalers. When you think of the Whalers, you think of this

  • Speaking of things you think about with the Hurricanes

Also, we would like to mention that we have some new and exciting things coming to the blog within the next two weeks. We hope you guys join in for the ride.

Do It.

Go Pens

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

RECAP: Jagr City - Who Cares it's December



  so the Penguins have lost yet another random game in December. With #MumpsGate going on as well as any other random injuries that occur the Penguins can't catch a break. Honestly, who the hell cares if the Pens lose to the Devils in December with no body in the lineup. I mean let's take a look real quick at who the Pens were missing last night. Hornqvist is out 'several' weeks with a lower body injury, Bennett could be back as soon as Wednesday at the latest Saturday, Steve Downie and Thomas Griess are victims of #MumpsGate and are expected back within the week, Ehrhoff was placed on the IR just before Christmas with a lower body injury, Paul Martin should be back soon after being placed on IR before Christmas as well with an 'undisclosed injury', Olli Maatta will not need season ending shoulder surgery (thank christ) and should be back in about a month, Blake Comeau is out several weeks with a wrist injury, Craig Adams is on the IR with an undisclosed injury but should return soon, Zach Sill and Scott Wilson are hurt with who the hell cares because they're irrelevant and Bobby Farnham and Bryan Rust are better than they will ever be, and lastly, obviously Dupuis is out with a blood clot. Letang was questionable up until the game day skate yesterday with a bruise form blocking a shot during the Capitals game, so basically he probably wouldn't have played had the Penguins not had so many players out. 

 The Penguins tallied first with a wicked backhander by Sidney Crosby, his 11th of the season. It was good to see him kinda break out of his little funk / injury rumor stuff by showing off his tremendous strength and finding the net. 

Gif Courtesy of the Penguins

  There were two other things of note. First, Jaromir Jagr scored on a pretty wicked wrister from about the right circle to make it 2-1 Devils. Honestly, #BringJJHome. Jagr should retire a Penguin, buy the Rivers Casino and put Mike Lange back on television. Love him or not, he's a surefire hall of famer, and will return to the Penguins' Ring of Honor eventually.  Jagr is the hero Pittsburgh deserves. 

JJ for Life

   The second thing to note was the POS sad excuse for a hockey player, ex-drug addict, garage league hockey player Jordin Tootoo. I don't even know how you can take yourself / life serious with that kind of name. Anyway, there was unsettled stuff brewing because of Bortuzzo's CLEAN hit on Jagr that knocked him out of the game and got Bortuzzo suspended for two games. That's fine, him and degenerate drug addict Tootoo dropped the gloves at the beginning of the second, it's hockey understandable. You know, the whole 'code' stuff. One fight should settle that, correct? Nope, big bad POS Jordin Tootoo decides to jump Bortuzzo later in the period and fight him AGAIN, because you know, 'the code?' So basically had Downie played, Tootoo would have been paralyzed and hopefully never able to play hockey again. Not that he was good at playing hockey anyway, he just likes to jump players and be an enforcer of that 'code' thing. Tootoo was better at doing drugs than hockey anyway. Either way you look at it, Bortuzzo was basically assaulted for playing hockey, a way too common occurrence in the NHL these days. Just ask Brooks Orpik. Either way, let's hope Tootoo's career will come to a close soon, whether it be due to #Downie316 or just no one wanting to sign the degenerate. Either way, what a POS and what a sad excuse for a hockey player. 

   Penguins fall 3-1 as Henrique added another goal about six minutes into the third. Whatever. It's December. Pens will slowly start getting guys back into their lineups and looking like a real team sometime in the near future. You can't fault the way they play when there's legit no one in the lineup for them right now. Bryan Rust is playing with Crosby. Just think about that. Either way, we're gonna transition into some cute puppy gifs. 


Jordin Tootoo playing hockey

Next game Wednesday (New Years Eve!!!) home against the Carolina Hurricanes 

Monday, December 29, 2014

Gameday 36. MASH at Devils.

Prudential Center - 7:00 p.m. ET
TV: ROOT Sports
Radio: 105.9 the X

The Pittsburgh Penguins (22-8-5, 49 points, 1st place in the Eastern Conference & 1st place in the Metropolitan Division) will look to snap a three-game losing skid tonight when they travel to the landfill Newark to play the New Jersey Devils (12-18-7, 31 points, 15th place in the East & 7th place in the Metro). After a 3-0 loss to the Capitals on Saturday, you'd have thought that the apocalypse was imminent. If you got jammed up over that loss, take a look at the calendar, look at our injury list and then deactivate your interwebz accounts. The Pens' three-game losing streak is the longest of their 2014-15 season, and cardboard Brooks Orpik might be forced to play tonight, so there's really no need to panic. What a time to be alive.


(via Daily Faceoff/my best guess)

Kunitz - Crosby - Rust
Malkin - Sutter - Uher
Spaling - Goc - Megna
Klinkhammer - Ebbett - Farnham

Harrington - Letang
Scuderi - Despres
Pouliot - Bortuzzo


Henrique - Gomez - Double J
Cammalleri - Zajac - Zubrus
Ruutu - Gionta - Bernier
Matteau - Sestito - Tootoo

Greene - Harrold
Merrill - Zidlicky
Gelinas - Larsson


  • Double J forever.
  • HCMJ said he will make a game-time decision on which defensemen to scratch tonight.
  • No update on Thomas Greiss or Steve Downie. Our best guess is that they could be back on Wednesday, but should be back this weekend. HCMJ said the same about Beau Bennett, saying "(Bennett) might be able to play Wednesday, but they'll get him one more team practice tomorrow and see where he’s at from there."
  • Patric Hornqvist will be out a few weeks. Unreal.
  • The dude is controversial, but Mark Madden wrote a really solid article today about the Pens hitting a wall with injuries and whatnot.
  • The powerplay is three for its last 45, and Robert Bortuzzo was on the second powerplay at the morning skate. Get your shot glasses and bleach ready.



Do it.

Go Pens.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Gameday 35. Pens vs Caps.

Consol Energy Center - 7:30 p.m. ET
TV: NBC Sports Network (nationally) & ROOT Sports (locally)
Radio: 105.9 the X

The Pittsburgh Penguins (22-7-5, 49 points, 1st place in the Eastern Conference & 1st place in the Metrosexual Metropolitan Division) return from a much-needed break to square off against the Washington Capitals (17-11-6, 40 points, 8th place in the East, 4th place in the Metropolitan) for the first time in the 2014-15 season. The Christmas break was mostly about players getting healthy, but that didn't happen too much - Steve Downie and Thomas Greiss Superstar have the mumps. Up until this afternoon's interviews, it was a mostly uneventful break in Penguinland. Our staff's Christmas break was mostly spent watching the Penguins' Christmas Vacation spin-off 137 times, and playing Playstation together. Oh wait... #FreePSN.


Kunitz - Crosby - Rust
Malkin - Sutter - Hornqvist
Spaling - Goc - Megna
Farnham - Ebbett - Klinkhammer


(the 6 defensemen plus Dumoulin & Pouliot rotated in sets, and Borts is a game-time decision)


Ovechkin - Backstrom - Wilson
Johansson - Kuznetsov - Troy "Best in the World" Brouwer
Laich - Fehr - Ward
Beagle - Burakovsky - Latta

Orpik - Carlson
Alzner - Niskanen
Schmidt - Vespa Green



  • Your TV guide will say that the program starts at 7:30 p.m., but the game being nationally broadcast on NBCSN inevitably means that puck drop will be at or around 9:03 p.m. ET.
  • Matt Niskanen and Brooks Orpik return to Pittsburgh as opponents for the first time since the Capitals signed them to 7-year, $1 billion contracts back in July. It's inevitable: the Pens are going to do a tribute for Orpik and Niskanen. Hasn't been officially announced, but the Pens loving nothing more than an old fashioned tribute video for anyone that has ever gotten naked in the Penguins' locker room. First off, I'll list Matt Niskanen's accomplishments as a Penguin in parentheses --> (). Thank him for his time in the Burgh, and move on. Orpik, on the other hand, has been somewhat controversial in the Penguins' fan base. Regardless of Orpik's last season or two being very comparable to a traffic cone or the actual cardboard Brooks Orpik, he deserves a standing ovation from the crowd. I feel that the response from the crowd will be somewhat similar to Double J's return to Pittsburgh when he was with Philly - very loud with a mixture of woo's and boo's. Stand up, clap for the man, and be thankful for what he did with the Pens. #NeverForget
  • Speaking of Niskanen, we learned how much of a douche he was last week (re: Dan Bylsma). "The organization can say whatever it wants, that it wasn't sure what it wanted to do, all that stuff. But it was (bull). It's not like Dan (Bylsma) was a chump or something, but that's how he was treated. He won you guys a Cup, you know?" Not going to quote it all, because this rant is getting long enough, but check out the article. Some stuff in their from Orpik and Todd Reirdon. Orpik clearly gets it, and Niskanen just sounds like a middle school child.
  • Olli Maatta is expected back within the next month. If my count is correct, Olli Maatta has survived cancer, mumps, an ailing shoulder, three deployments in Iraq, the Playstation Network getting hacked and dysentery.
  • Beau Bennett skated with the team today. He's expected to play a full 82-game season #BeforePSNIsUp.
  • Entering tonight, the Pens have won five consecutive home games, and eight consecutive games against the Capitals. Blame Kyle if both of those streaks are snapped tonight.
Expect a hard-fought game tonight - pretty much the usual Pens-Caps game. Hope Bobby Fanham wrecks Brouwer; then Downie storms out of Lemieux's suite to give Ovechkin a Stone Cold Stunner on the ice, before sitting on top of the glass and shotgunning a beer.

Penguins! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!






Fucking do it.

Go Pens.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

RECAP. Whatever, It's Christmas. Pens LOSE.



The Penguins stormed back but it wasn't enough as the Lightning held on to win 4-3. Tyler Johnson had a hat trick by the second period. That's about all we're gonna talk about on this one. Pens were missing like 13 players or something. Uher, Zatkoff, and Chorney were all sent to WBS post game so looks like Greiss, Sutter, and Downie are good to go.

Next game is Saturday vs Washington

Merry Christmas

Go Pens

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Gameday 34. MASH at Lightning

Amalie Arena
7:30 pm
TV: Root
Radio: 105.9 The X

After a pretty entertaining and hard earned point last night in Ft. Lauderdale, the Penguins are in Tampa/St. Pete tonight for the final day before the Christmas break to take on the Atlantic Division leading Tampa Bay Lightning. The Pittsburgh MASH unit is back with Blake Comeau going on IR and Dominik Uher being called up. This is getting ridiculous.

Lines (via Daily Faceoff)

Kunitz - Crosby - Hornqvist
Spaling - Malkin - Rust
Farnham - Goc - Klinkhammer
Uher - Ebbett - Chorney

Despres - Letang
Dumoulin - Harrington
Scuderi - Pouliot


Drouin - Stamkos - Connolly
Palat - Johnson - Kucherov
Killorn - Filppula - Callahan
Morrow - Paquette - Brown

Hedman - Stralman
Barbeiro - Gudas
Sustr - Hot Carle


  • Fleury playing back to back nights because who wants Jeff Zatkoff to play?
  • Tampa Bay is full of old people
  • No clue who Dominik Uher really is
  • Its December. Who cares.
Do it.

Go Pens.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Gameday 33. Pens at Panthers

BB&T Center
7:30 PM
TV: Root
Radio: 105.9 The X

The Penguins and Panthers are finishing off the back end of a home and home tonight in Sunny South Florida. The Penguins will be without Steve Downie, Brandon Sutter, and Thomas Greiss tonight as they were all sent home from Florida to be tested for the Mumps. The #MumpsGate is still going on and may never end. This is the next to last game before Christmas as the Pens will be in Tampa tomorow night. Unless Greiss gets another plane ride back to Florida, it looks like Fleury might play back to back games. Unfortunately, no Steve Downie means that the entire Florida bench can breathe easier. Beautiful Bobby Farnham might have got a text from Downie today to make sure Dave Bolland's body parts are laying on the ice somewhere. If tonight is anything like Saturday, it should be one hell of a game. Taylor Chorney will be making his NHL debut and Jeff Zatkoff was recalled.

Lines (via Daily Faceoff)

Kunitz - Crosby - Hornqvist
Spaling - Malkin - Comeau
Klinkhammer - Goc - Rust
Farnham - Ebbett - Chorney

Harrington - Letang
Dumoulin - Despres
Scuderi - Pouliot


Huberdeau - Bjugstad - Trocheck
Bergenheim - Barkov - Pirri
Jokinen - Bolland - Hayes
Kopecky - MacKenzie - Upshall

Campbell - Ekblad
Mitchell - Kulikov
Gudbranson - Olsen


  • Fleury was named 3rd star of the week last week going 3-0-0 with 1 shutout, a 0.99 GAA and .971 save percentage (even though Fleury's stats always suck)
  • Pens enter tonight with best record in the East.
  • Florida is only 2 points behind Washington for the Final Wild Card spot in the East.
  • Craig Adams will miss his second consecutive game, so he's starting another streak.
  • Willie Mitchell sucks
  • Prepare for 4932984320 tweets about no one being in attendance

Do It.

Go Pens.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Embellishment My Ass - Pens WIN



    We did not do a game day for this post and we apologize. However, being in college, a reunion full of beers and endless appetizers at Friday's to watch this game was in store for us. Well, we learned three things tonight. First, you can use helmets to fight as the captain (the supposed strongest leader on your team) Willie Mitchell used a helmet to swing at Kris Letang during a scuffle. What a jackass. Second, we learned that Derrick Pouliot is GOOD at hockey, sniping LOLOLuongo for the Pens second goal, on his 1st career NHL shot in his first career NHL game. Lastly, we learned that the refs truly have something out for the Penguins. Not only calling Malkin for embellishment in the second, but they changed the unsportsmanlike penalty on him in the first to embellishment. Malkin will be fined, as we all laughed at former Penguin James Neal earlier this week, however the refs truly hate Pittsburgh.

   The Penguins wasted no time getting to work on Luongo. Just 1:48 into the first Spaling shoots a knuckle puck from almost the blue line, beating Luongo somehow someway. Oh yeah, because Luongo is overrated and terrible.  Spaling's 5th from Downie and Goc.

Thanks @Penguins for the GIF

   About five minutes later, newest call-up Derrick Pouliot, the Penguins highly coveted prospect deemed as 'untouchable' decides to give us a reason to believe he should be untouchable. Downie throws an unbelievable cross-ice pass to Pouliot, who holds the puck for a second and snipes Luongo glove side for his first career NHL goal, in his first career game. Basically according to Paul Steigerwald, he's Mario Lemieux. 

Jesus what a shot

 The next goal comes from Mount Lebanon local Vincent Trocheck. A pretty solid deflection on the powerplay on a Jonathan Huberdeau shot. Whatever 2-1 Pens. It's what came next that was great....

   The first period was an absolute goon fest. Mostly because of the Florida Panthers. This started with a vicious slash by degenerate washed up Panthers forward Dave Bolland on Sidney Crosby. Sid would go to the dressing room in pain and get taped up real quick. The next incident occurred when Letang and degenerate, somehow Panthers scrub captain Willie Mitchell get into a scrap. Mitchell uses Letang's helmet to try to hit Letang like the true worthless scrub coward that he is. Willie Mitchell should never play hockey again. Watch the video to see how bad Willie Mitchell is at hockey. Next thing you know, Crosby was high-sticked in front by the same cow that separated Malkin's shoulder last season, Eric Gudbranson. He drew blood, so it was a 4 minute penalty. However, Malkin being the Russian angry bear that he is, decided to take a roughing penalty in the offensive zone. *Note Malkin was originally called for an unsportsmanlike penalty against Scottie Upshall, but that was later changed to 'embellishment' because the NHL is a garage league organization. This would prove to be important later in the game.*

   Summary of the 2nd period, Steve Downie. What a force. After the Letang fight, Downie was seen visibly shaking from the bench dying to get out there to presumably hurt / fight one of the Florida Panthers. So in the second period, he chose the big goon Eric Gudbranson. 

Courtesy of Pensblog

Downie telling Gudbranson how huge he is #Downie316

  Because of the first bullshit embellishment penalty called on Malkin, getting a second one means a fine. Unfortunately since the refs have a hatred for the Penguins, a knee on Trocheck means a $2,000 fine for Malkin, being that was his second offense. Which is such B.S. 

Under revised rule 64 of the NHL: 

  Penalty wise the third period was quite calm. Although Goc slashed Bolland and that was awesome. Anything done to David Bolland after that slash to Sid is a welcomed sight. However, it was one feel good moment for Sidney Crosby as he finally got his 10th goal of the season on some unreal passing by Despres and Letang. Crosby's 10th from Letang and Despres. That sealed it aside from Fleury trying to score on an empty net and a stupid Rob Scuderi delay of game penalty. Pens win 3-1.

Crosby's 10th Thanks @Penguins for the GIF.

3rd star: Derrick Pouliot (1 goal, first NHL goal)

2nd star: Sidney Crosby (1 goal, put up with Dave Bolland)

1st star: Marc - Andre Fleury (46 saves, .978 sv%)

 Game Notes
  • Penalty Minutes: 44 for Pittsburgh - 32 for Florida
  • Fleury improves to 19-4-2 on the season, #Vezina 
  • Steve Downie had 2 assists this game, 6th time he's had a multi-point game in 32 GP
  • Martin was placed on IR and Ehrhoff was said to be out this game with further update
  • Last Penguin to score on his NHL debut was coveted vanilla midget Brian Gibbons
  • Fleury stopped 45/46 shots, 2 shy of career 47 saves against New Jersey in 2008
  • Although invisible on the score sheet, Bobby Farnham was once again a foce
  • #Downie316
  • Look for Malkin to get fined for the refs using poor judgement #GarageLeague

Next game should be a treat, Monday 7:30 @Florida Panthers