Here's the full post:
http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/2011/11/30/pittsburgh-penguins-pregame-the-epicenter-of-suck/
Reading this made us want to harm a small animal. If you're too lazy to read it all we are gonna put some "highlights" in this post. Enjoy.
"Then we come to the middle ground: decent places inhabited by truly awful organizations. Pittsburgh comes to mind. Hoorah, it’s beautiful and their food isn’t too toxic and the local rumor is that there’s even a museum or something. But it’s also home to the rat burrow of unctuous fink
Well now. Bylsma and his douche hat? You mad Bylsma can rock a fedora and Boudreau couldn't?
"Every game matters. Pens games matter more. This game matters very much more."
Coming from a fan of a team that compared winning the Winter Classic to winning the Stanley Cup this his hilarious.
"It is the time for righteous beatdowns of those self-entitled prigs in Pittsburgh."
Prigs? Righteous beat down? What is this the 70's who says righteous anymore?
"vampire Kris Letang (3G 16A, plus-5) We say vampire given Letang’s punishment from the Habs’ Max Pacioretty last Saturday, only to rise from the dead to score the GWG. Vampire or zombie? Let’s let his hair be the judge."
Didn't know Kris Letang sucked blood for a living. And last time I checked he's never bitten someone.
"Self-appointed Captain of the whiners,Sidney Crosby, is once more up to his soullessrobotic ways. Scoring, hitting, scoring, smiling vacantly for the cameras. There is not enough room in Heaven or on this Earth to heap enough scorn on Sidney Crosby and his media-whoring ways. Unfortunately, on this plane of existence we need to contain him on the ice."
Just read that and let it sink in for a second. Soul less? Smiling vacantly for the camera? That's all you can come up with?
"There is no amount of torture that will force me to admit that Dan Bylsma is a decent coach. I mean: hardly a decent human being. Like
Coach
Boudreau said a while back, can you really imagine Coach Douche-Hat “playing” with anyone, let alone his offspring, during the holidays? . How about you use everyone else in your life as a prop for your own mealy-mouthed self-aggrandizement? Oh wait! You’re doing the Movember thing? Really? Moustaches around the nation have done great work for raising money. But no moustache has spoken truer than that spiral cut ham rotting on Bylsma’s lip.Quoting: Dan Bylsma’s moustache to world: ‘I hate you, and am cutting myself off from all human contact."
Coach
Boudreau said a while back, can you really imagine Coach Douche-Hat “playing” with anyone, let alone his offspring, during the holidays? . How about you use everyone else in your life as a prop for your own mealy-mouthed self-aggrandizement? Oh wait! You’re doing the Movember thing? Really? Moustaches around the nation have done great work for raising money. But no moustache has spoken truer than that spiral cut ham rotting on Bylsma’s lip.Quoting: Dan Bylsma’s moustache to world: ‘I hate you, and am cutting myself off from all human contact."
Hardly a decent human being? God forbid the guy play with his kids during Christmas!!! Who the fuck does that?? What a dick??? Get real. And what the fuck does aggrandizement mean?? And nice quote about his moustache. Did it take all month to figure that one out.
"The Fetid Stink Birds have allowed only 63 goals this season, compared with our 75."
What the fuck does Fetid mean? Where are you pulling these words from Boudreau's double chin?
"Let the H8trs rip me up, but I’m not convinced Pittsburgh is much more than a well-oiled one-trick machine. "
Kind of like you're joke "captain" right?
"the Caps, almost entirely from head to tail, are the best NHL collection of talent in the last decade."
Give me the 03 Devils against the guys any day of the week. Maybe Scott Stevens would knock Ovi into the upper deck.
"There’s no game bigger than this, and they know it’s happening in front of their loyal hometown."
No wonder you guys choke in the playoffs. No bigger game than this? It's December 1st against the Penguins. Come on.
"It’s a Red Town Thursday, and we’re here to eat Pittsburgh’s lunch and steal their cookie."
Eat Pittsburgh's lunch and steal their cookie? How old are we 6?
"Dumptruck Arron Ashamdecided to give our Jay Beagle a pounding he wouldn’t forget. Or would, apparently if Asham had his way. As in: men with concussions don’t really remember what happened to them in the first place. In our book Arron Asham is no better than a drunk driver. No, he’s worse, actually: someone supposedly in control of his facilities (or what passes for them) who intentionally chooses to send a man to the hospital with a swollen brain injury. Nice going, Asham."
Oh no!!! Some went after poor little Jay Beagle. If memory serves us correctly and I'm pretty sure it does since we were at that game, Beagle decided to run Kris Letang from behind then picked a fight with Asham. And how can you compare him to a drunk driver? Pretty sure Asham didn't kill anyone. Intentionally chooses to send a man to the hospital with a swollen brain injury? Ummm....it was a fight jackass. It would have been worse if Asham wouldn't have held Beagle up when he was falling. Good call dick.
"Beagle may not remember, but we do. Asham: you are a horrible human. We are watching you. There’s a timebomb ticking… and you’re not going to like it when it goes off."
Who's going to go after Asham? Mike Green? "You're captain"?
"And remember, Pittsburgh:tick-tick-tick-tick…"
Is that the sound of the Verizon Center about to blow up? If so hopefully it doesn't happen when were are. there tomorrow.
This is nice.
We prefer this one.
Bring the hate Thursday Pens fans.
Go Pens.
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