Wednesday, August 27, 2014

In 44 Days...




 We're a day behind on the countdown due to the fact that college has started up again and binge drinking has begun along with pitcher nights and wings nights, and for that we apologize. Anyway, this post is a day late, and we will have another one for you later tonight. We're 44 (from yesterday) days away from a #BylsmaFree season as the Pens will be in search for their fourth Stanley Cup in franchise history. Notable Pens players to wear the 44 sweater include Todd Nelson, Drake Berehowsky, Ed Patterson, THE Rob Brown, Stephane Richer and #BangBodies Brooks Orpik. The obvious player we chose to spotlight was Orpik with a shoutout to Rob Brown for his 1988-1989 115 point season and Stanley Cup champion in 1991.

Brooks Orpik (Brooks because he born shortly after the Miracle on Ice in 1980 luls) was drafted by the Pittsburgh Penguins in the in the first round of the 2000 NHL Entry Draft, 18th overall. Orpik is knowing for crucifying random players, an overtime winner against the New York Islanders that sent us onward to play Ottawa, which then the Penguins were eventually butt-raped by Boston, and reinventing the code because of degenerate former Bruin Shawn Thornton, who we wish nothing but the worst on. Orpik absolutely destroyed Loui Eriksson and when Shawn Thornton tried to get Orpik to fight, Orpik declined so Shawn Thornton slew-footed him first then continued to beat the piss out of him while he was laying helpless on the ice. What a guy right? Wishing the worst on Shawn Thornton and his life from here on out. Either way, Orpik killing people is what set that off.

   Orpik was also a member of the famous "X-Generation" Penguins with goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury.  So Orpik has seen it all, from Dick Tarnstrom leading the team in points with 52 in 2003-2004 to the Sidney Crosby era, to the end of an era (#ByeLOLsma) Orpik was there for it all. Orpik began his career with the Penguins during the 2001-2002 season and spent the year in Wilkes-Barre. Orpik played 6 games during the 2002-2003 season and from there on out had a permanent roster spot with the Penguins. In his first full season Orpik played in 79 games and recorded 1 goal and 9 assists with 127 PIMs.

In 2008 Orpik signed a 6 year $22.5 million dollar contract with the Penguins. Obviously this was the year of #BlameHossa so the Pens were poised for a long cup run. When #SuperStarSovietDefenseman Sergei Gonchar went down with an injury, Orpik was given the "A" alongside superstar Evgeni Malkin. In 2009 Orpik was invited to play for Team USA in Vancouver in which the U.S. finished second after Sid's goal overtime goal on Ryan MiLOLer (Miller, sorry misspelled that). Later that year, Orpik played a vital role in helping the Penguins win their third Stanley Cup in franchise history. That year Orpik recorded 2 goals and 23 assists and was a +6 (because +/- stat matters to most degenerate hockey fans) as well as recored 64 PIMs. What a hero. What a warrior. Orpik's career stats include 703 games played, 13 goals, 119 assists for a total of 132 points, he's a +32 (thank god for +/-) with a total of 734 PIMs. Orpik was not one of those guys that stood out, unless they were punting someone across the rink.

On July 1, Orpik signed a 5 year $27.5M dollar deal with the Washington Crapitals (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO.) For as much as Orpik did here, thank god the Pens did not pay that money. His time was up here and thank god the Pens did not try to resign Orpik. Also Orpik is 33, and a very physical defenseman, so bets are he will not finish out that 5 year deal with Washington or die before his deal is up. Although Orpik is such a great guy and was part of the Pens past many plans including the "X-Generation" and "#GetToOurGame" we hope to god that when the Pens play Washington Orpik and Niskanen will be paired together so the Pens can #SkateCircles around them. But in all seriousness, Orpik was a much respected locker room presence (Unlike Craig Adams, Mr. Coffee With Coaches) and he will be missed (just not for that money.) Stay tuned later today to see who #43 will be!










#TheCode









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