HF Boards: Free Agency/Draft Trades

Since the Penguins now have a coach and a lot of the offseason dust has settled, Brandon told me that it would be a good time to do an HF Boards Post, and boy was he right. There is a lot of gold on that site right now with most of the Penguins rumored to be available. So without further adieu, here we go to some of the biggest degenerates in the hockey world...

Calgary Gets:

Marc-Andre Fleury

Brandon Sutter

Simon Despres

#22 Overall

Pittsburgh Gets:

#4 Overall

^ Wait, WHAT?!?!

There's no point to even decipher what kind of drugs people in Calgary are on, but they must sell some good shit there, so yeahhhh...

Winnipeg Gets:

Marc-Andre Fleury

The Rights to Matt Niskanen

James Neal

#22 Overall

Pittsburgh Gets:

Evander Kane

Blake Wheeler

Ondrej Pavelec

For starters, the Penguins are giving up entirely too much in this deal. Second, theres no way in hell I want Blake Wheeler on this team, unless he's free. So, NO.

Toronto Gets:

Rob Scuderi

#22 Overall

Pittsburgh Gets:

Joffrey Lupul

Rights to Nikolai Kulemin

That deal adds a legit Top 6 guy, gives them a chance to add to the bottom 6, while dumping Scuderi's contract and we would be okay to trade the 1st round pick while picking up 2 legit NHL forwards.

We've posted so many awful trades on this blog with these posts, and this next trade might be the dumbest one that we've ever posted.

Edmonton Gets:

Kris Letang

Rights to Deryk Engellend

Pittsburgh Gets:

#8 overall

Jeff Petry

Tom Nilsson

We should just bomb the internet after that one...

Good God..

The next one might literally push you off the ledge...

Toronto Gets:

Rob Scuderi

Derrick Pouilot

#22 Overall

Pittsburgh Gets:

Dion Phaneuf

Rights to Nikolai Kulemin

James Reimer

First off, the Pens dont wanna trade their traffic cone for a more expensive traffic cone. We would love to have Elisha Cuthbert though.

Some Sharks fan should probably jump off of the Golden Gate Bridge tomorrow after this next deal...

San Jose Gets:
Kris Letang

Marc-Andre Fleury

Beau Bennett

Pittsburgh Gets:

Patrick Marleau

Anttii Niemi

Light yourself on fire dude.

And last but not least, one that will probably make you all drink bleach.

Carolina Gets:

Marc-Andre Fleury

Pittsburgh Gets:

Cam Ward

We might try to get another one of these on the blog again in another week. Depending on how psychotic the people of the internet get.

Until then

Go Pens