HEYYYYY FANNNSSSS: RECAP: Everyone's Horny. Pens WIN.

The first Pens-Islanders game of the year did not disappoint. We expect these two teams to battle it out for the top spot in the Metrosexual Division all year. Marc-Andre Fleury had an incredible game stopping 34 of 35 shots, and a few of those saves were not of the easy variety. Steve Downie literally challenged the entire Islanders team. And the Penguins power play has continued to be goodnight moon for opponents through 4 games.

The game started out with the Islanders somewhat controlling play and it ended up being beneficial for them. 5 and a half minutes into the period, Olli Maatta blew a tire around center ice and some Islander got the puck in deep. Kris Letang broke the play to the corner but Ryan Strome found Thomas Hickey streaking down the crease and someone on the Penguins didn't backcheck hard enough, left Hickey wide open who sniped Fleury. 1-0 Isles at the 5:46 mark. After the goal though, the Penguins started coming and Evgeni Malkin drew a trip on Casey Cizikas. The Power Play did not score, but man the chances the Penguins were getting and trying to deflect 4432 shots past Halak. The first period ended with the Penguins outshooting the Isles 16-10, but the Isles took a 1-0 lead into the intermission. Live shot of Jaroslav Halak in the first period.

Live shot of the beginning of the second period.

The teams exchanged Power Plays to start the beginning of the period, and the Islanders had a 5 on 3 at one point but the Penguins PKers and Marc-Andre Fleury didn't care. Note: We haven't really figured out if John Tavares played in this game, he was invisible all night and that might have had a factor on the Isles PP. Corey Conacher took a penalty and then the Isles jumped an extra guy on the ice during the PK and Evgeni Malkin saw it, put his hand up and the ref saw it and gave the Pens a 5 on 3. The Penguins 5 on 3 went slightly different than the Islanders one did. The puck eventually got worked down low to Patric Hornqvist who tried to jam one through Halak, Halak tried covering it, but Hornqvist had other ideas and poked it free behind the net and then eventually worked it to Sidney Crosby who then one touched sauced one to Malkin. Malkin did a glitch move and sniped it near side on Halak. 1-1.

The Isles then tried to gain some offense on the 2nd penalty, but the Penguins again had other ideas. They started moving the puck quickly and the Isles started chasing. Kris Letang found Malkin who then slowly pulled a slap shot and it went through a Patric Hornqvist screen. Well so we thought, but it apparantly hit Hornqvist in the dick. 2-1 Pens and both goals came 55 seconds apart. Not much really happened until the period ended. Sidney Crosby was forechecking and skated around the net and his skate got tangled with Halak's and Halak fell down then started crying to the ref. The period ended then Halak and Crosby had a few words then Tavares made his only appearance of the night, came out to talk to them and then world known piece of shit Travis Hamonic decided he would come out. Kris Letang and Steve Downie would have none of it, then Downie basically told Hamonic to F off and called him a pussy and did this.

brb going to buy 15 Steve Downie jerseys

After the Penguins killed another Islanders power play, this happened.

buying 10 more Downie jerseys

As Zack tweeted last night, this entire sequence was exactly what the Penguins lacked last year, pretty sure that no ones gonna mess with any Penguin for the rest of the year because Steve Downie might kill you.

"Steve Downie's gonna kill you, Steve Downie's gonna kill you, Steve Downie's gonna kill you!" <--- Sing this

Anyways, nothing really happened the rest of the game other than the Penguins were in the Islanders mouths on the PK and Fleury made some pretty remarkable saves. Isles pulled Halak, Crosby chipped a puck to Kunitz who cleared it to open space which Hornqvist got to and skated the puck into the net for his 2nd of the night (4th of the season). Game.