HF Boards: A Ton of Shitty Penguin Trades

We haven't done any of these in awhile but with the trade deadline next week and with us done marginally updating you on the Olympics, we felt it was time to do another one of these HF Boards posts. Some of these deals might make you want to throw your computer out a window so please, if you do that, don't send us the bill because I'm not paying for it. Sorry.

The first deal we're gonna discuss isn't really a deal, but more of a, what would it take to get so and so to such and such a team. The offer is, What would it take to get Olli Maatta to Montreal? We said it would take the entire franchise of the Canadiens (booing included), 23 of their 26 Cups, a First for the next 24 years and Subban and we would maybe consider it. I haven't figured out why other franchises fans think they can get Olli Maatta. No no no no no

The next one is a Flames/Brian Burke deal so we'll see how this goes...

Simon Despres

Lee Stempniak

2015 2nd or 3rd

We're all about moving Simon Despres for the right price, well, we were until Letang and Martin went down but Lee Stempniak isn't the price we would want to pay. But Brian Burke probably would give up Stempniak, Monahan, and Cammaleri and if the Cap somehow worked out, he would probably it. 

The next post we found with Penguins trades in there is a combined deal. One with the Oilers and one with the Kings. Let's see how these are.

Philip Samuelsson

2014 3rd Round Pick

Ales Hemsky

Brian Gibbons

2015 2nd Round Pick

Kyle Clifford

The first deal actually isn't a bad trade and depending where I rank Samuelsson in the Pens defensive prospect pool (which I don't rank him in the top 3 or 4) then he's probably expendable. The only real bad part on this deal is Hemsky makes $5 mil and is a UFA at the end of the year and if Vokoun and Letang comes back, this move puts the Pens over the cap. If Shero actually could make this move, I don't think he would have a really tough time getting Edmonton to retain some cap on him. As far as the second deal, get the hell out of here. In no way do I want any part of Kyle Clifford, especially for Brian Gibbons. LA would have to send this to make this work.

Either one of those two, or both would maybe work.

Heres a stupid Leafs deal that doesn't include Nikolai Kulemin (shocked I know)

Evgeni Malkin

James van Riemsdyk

Nazem Kadri

Morgan Reilly

James Reimer

Throw in Phil Kessel and the Hockey Mecca title and I'll consider it.

This next one makes no sense, whether you like the guy or not.

Kris Letang

Ryan O'Reilly

(At the draft)

Get the hell out of here and stop smoking your legal marijuana Denver.

Now here's your weekly Kulemin to the Pens trade....

Jussi Jokinen

Scott Harrington

Nikolai Kulemin

Mason Raymond

Go away. Forever. My God

This next one might break your computer.

Chris Kunitz

PK Subban

2014 2nd Round Pick

As much as I'm on board the PK Subban to Pittsburgh train. No way. And the logic of this deal is "Subban is a RFA at the end of this season and the Habs will be hard pressed to meet his demands. Pens need a d-man to replace Letang and will have the money if Letang doesn't return.

Kunitz is playing a regular shift for Canada (Subban is 8th d-man). The 2nd rounder evens it out. "

What a stupid logic.

Here's one from our car flipping buddies in Vancouver.

Olli Maatta

Beau Bennet

2014 1st

Alexander Edler

Raphael Diaz (50% retained)

First off, why the hell would the Pens need two defensemen. Second of all, Maatta > Edler and Diaz combined. Third, how the hell does the 1st round pick even this out? Fourth, go back to sticking to what you're good at Vancouver..

This next trade is interesting and kind of a tossup.

Beau Bennet

Simon Despres

Bobby Ryan

I honestly have no idea if this is a good or bad deal. I probably do it because it's Bobby Ryan and the fact that Despres is likely halfway out the door anyways. Bennett makes this deal tough because he is really the only good F prospect the Penguins have, but Ryan is only 26 so he's entering his prime and he has already proven he can play with stars. This is probably the 2nd best trade (and last good trade) that will be in this post.

This next one might be the worst trade I've ever seen.

Kris Letang

Rick Nash

Rick Nash is the worst. Next

We'll leave you with what we pretty much started with.

Olli Maatta

Simon Despres

2014 1st

Max Pacioretty

Lars Eller

2014 3rd

I do like Pacioretty and think he would do well with the Pens and Bylsma, but there's no way in a million years do I even consider trading Olli Maatta right now. Never. Pens need more Finns anyways.

Anyways, I'll try to have atleast one more of these before the deadline plus we'll do our best to keep you updated with any moves that the Penguins make between now and March 5th at Noon.

Welcome back to NHL hockey

Go Pens.