Sum of all fears

To sum up today's CBA meetings:

Yep.  

Owner's statements on CBA talks  You can read that if you want.

Go......ehh fuck it.

Things we are missing because of the lockout

So we are bored and there isn't any hockey in the near future so we wanted to remind you what you're missing because of the lockout.  Some of these are serious, some are just being complete trolls.  This is where we are right now.  A list of stuff we are missing because of the lockout.

• Fleury giving up a softy 12 seconds into the game.
• Paul Martin's horrid defense.
• Some let down game against the Islanders.
• Getting trapped to death by the Devils 6 times.
• Giving up some 3 goal lead in the 3rd period.
• Montreal booing an icing.
• Toronto thinking they'll actually make the playoffs.
• Rick DiPietro getting hurt.
• Crosby sucks.
• OCDB getting out coached over and over.
• Puck bunnies.  (THANK GOD)
• The Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo
• People dry humping the air to get on the big screen at Consol.
• Pierre gargling Mike Richards balls.
• Everyone gargling the Rangers balls.
• Doc Emerick yelling "WITH A DRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE"
• Brian Burke making some awful trade.
• A dumb Brendan Shanahan suspension video.
• Steigy's Hobey Baker "jokes".
• Bob Errey drunk.
• Ryan Mill.
• Malkin interviews.
• TK peppering the glass and the goalies chest.

We probably missed some.  7 people are probably gonna read this post.  Quite frankly this was a post for the sake of making a post.  And we are really really bored.  So yeah.  If you are one of the like 7 people that actually make it this far and you have something else to add to this list that isn't "Crosby owning the league" or "Malkin running train on some team" then leave a comment or something.  AND enjoy this video.

Go Pens and end the lockout and all that jazz and what not.

Gameday 1 Pens vs Islols.  Fuck.  Nevermind.  Go Pens anyways.

Jordan Staal Traded

Jordan Staal was traded to Carolina for Brandon Sutter, Brian Dumoulin and the 8th pick that they used to draft Derrick Pouliot.

Classic case of making the best of a bad situation.  Staal's earlier rejection of the extension Shero offered pretty much signaled that he did not want to be in Pittsburgh for the long haul.

This move clears up about $2 million in cap space, which allows the Pens to be active in free agency.  There are also rumors going around that the Pens are looking to move Martin and possibly Orpik to clear up more space.  Parise city.

Thanks for the cup

What You Need to Know About Sidney Crosby's Next Contract

Nothing can be done until July 1.

Picture via @rick_city

Playoff Game 1.2

Corporate Entitlement Center

7:30

ROOT Sports and some NBC Channel

The Pens look to bounce back after losing in a vomit inducing way to Philly on Wednesday after blowing a three goal lead.

The win has allowed Philly to gain home ice advantage for the series.  The old mantra is that a series doesn't start until a road team wins a game.  So hopefully that wakes the Penguins up.

The are rumors circulating that the Penguins will go with the split up powerplay, with Malkin leading unit A and Crosby leading unit B.  Long time overdue move in our opinion.  

No major lineup changes for the Pens or Flyers noted today.  Marc-Andre Bourdon is out for Philly tonight.

Playoff Game 1.1

Game 82 - Flyers at Penguins

Game 82.  The final game of the regular season.  While from a standings point this game means nothing, it is worth noting that Malkin is going for his 50th goal this year, Marc-Andre Fleury is going for win 43 which would break Tommy B's franchise record, and Kris Letang is going for a career high in goals.  It would also be nice for the Pens to beat the Flyers in CEC and get that monkey off their back.

Go Pens

Flood Warning for New York City

John Tortorella was fined $20,000 for his rant after Thursday night's game. 

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Larry Brooks, Rangers homer reporter, didn't like it.

Not sure what Brooks is trying to say here, other than Gary Bettman <3 Mario.

We found some exclusive live footage of Manhattan:

WAHHHHHHH

John Tortorella melts down

Commonwealth Cold War is on

Don't care how it worked out, but either way it's Pens - Flyers first round. 

God help us all

Game 81 - Rangers at Pens

700

ROOT Sports

We don't make fun of their music enough.

With the Rangers having already locked up the first seed in the East for the playoffs, the Pens can only finish fourth or fifth.  A win tonight locks up the fourth seed, and would make Saturday's game against Philadelphia meaningless.  

The Pens have been in a slump lately but looked better against Boston.  It could be an adjustment period with changed lines especially since Crosby returned.  Tonight is a big test, but the big guns from the Rangers will likely be limited.  It is important to note, however, that the fourth line should not be used to start a game.

Joe Vitale will play for the Pens after taking a Chara shot to the face on Tuesday.  James Neal (lower body injury), Steve Sullivan (lower body injury), and Matt Niskanen are out tonight.  

EmptyNetters has the lines.  Go Pens

RECAP. Umm. Yeah. Pens WIN

Totally uncreative title.

The Pens took it to the Bruins again.  Almost let them come back from a 2 goal deficit.  James Neal got his 40th and Sid added 2.

Pens can wrap up the 4th seed tomorrow against the Rags

Go Pens

Ray Shero responds to Mike Milbury

Busy day for hockey on the Internet.  If it was 2001 we'd have to sit through Skip Bayless making out with a picture of Tim Tebow while waiting for a blip about most of the day's developments.

Bayless needs to get a grip.  His Tebowner is showing.  All Vince Young did his first year as a starter did was win too.

Ray Shero spoke out against Mike Milbury's rant today.  Really good stuff from King Shero here.

Some quotes that speak for themselves:

"If it was an attempt at comedy, it falls real short,"

"It’s fine to have an opinion on players but when you’re making light of concussions, that’s not right,” said Shero. "I’ve gone through this with my own kid (who had a concussion), obviously we’ve gone through it as a team with Sidney Crosby and saw what it took for him to battle back from it over the past year, there’s nothing funny about post-concussion syndrome. I don’t think it would have been very funny had he made fun of [concussed Flyers captain] Chris Pronger in that light. There’s nothing funny about [former Flyers captain] Keith Primeau having to retire from it. This is an issue that is at the forefront of our league right now and to make light of these concussions is a real lame attempt at humor. He should know better than this.’’ 

Danielle Briere is not please with Joe Vitale

Danny Briere whined about a clean hit to the Philadelphia media after getting owned by Joe Vitale on Sunday afternoon.  The link is here.

We aren't even sure where to start with this whinefest.  We'll just analyze this barf fest.

“Look, everybody knows that (they) put the line that was on the ice, on the ice with a minute left in a game that was out of hand,” Briere said. “Everybody knows the intent, what the intent was. Was it a bad hit? No. It was a clean hit. 

“But obviously, you knew what he was doing. He was obviously trying to hurt me. We all know that.”

He was trying to hurt you with a clean hit?  Not sure what this means.

Hockey 101 pretty much dictates that you should hit your opponent hard and clean.  This is from the same mold as Kimo Timonen whining in the 2009 playoffs that the Pens, notably Chris Kunitz, targeted him.  It's a physical game.  Accept contact or shut up.

Special delivery for Danny Briere

Game 79 - Flyers at Pens

12:30

NBC

Huge game for both teams as home ice advantage is on the line for the playoffs.  Pens are up three points on the Flyers for fourth in the East.  It is almost certain that these two teams will meet in the first round, creating the third Battle of Pennsylvania since 2008.  Should note that these two teams meet again on Saturday.  

Here's a great article about Pierre McGuire coaching in Hartford.

Many times he privately said after a game how he outcoached the other guy. But it was something never really made public until May 3, when McGuire proclaimed that no coach in the NHL ``can outwit me.'' That quote ran in The Hockey News and raised eyebrows all over the NHL.
His fascination with trying to outwit the other coach may hurt the Whalers in the long run. Instead of playing kids such as Robert Petrovicky or Kevin Smyth long after it was apparent the team was out of the playoff race, McGuire would fastidiously match lines, go with aging veterans and make sure certain faceoff alignments were always followed. Instead of development, he seemed just to want to squeeze out two points.
Once when he was an assistant coach, McGuire bragged about his strategy to shut down Mario Lemieux. This was after a 7-3 loss and four goals by Kevin Stevens.
On the bench, players said McGuire would taunt the other team, saying he couldn't believe the opposing coach was allowing him certain line matchups. This braggadocio led Pittsburgh's Jaromir Jagr to mock McGuire in December. McGuire got Jagr for an illegal stick, and after Jagr jumped out of the penalty box, he scored on a breakaway. Although he had scored big goals in two Stanley Cup championships, Jagr called this overtime goal the biggest of his life because he humbled ``that know-it-all.''

Yikes.

Go Pens

RECAP. Milloler Time. Pens WIN

Can't help but think of this every time you play Buffalo.  They're still jammed up about it to this day.

The Pens traveled to Buffalo after two pretty embarrassing showings against the Isles.  The Sabres are red hot so you couldn't help but feel the Pens were gonna get smoked in this game.  But that didn't happen.  The Pens swung, Buffalo swung back and the Pens took it on the chin and game back and delivered two quick hay makers.  Buffalo tried to come back but the Pens weren't having it.  Brent Johnson turned in a solid performance and the Pens defense show up when they needed it most and they held on for a huge win.

1st Period

The Pens were aided by the return of Matt Niskanen and Joe Vitale.  Whoever thought we'd be typing that this season.

Pens went on the power play early.  Almost 4 minutes in Geno gets a pass from Steve Sullivan, walks in and the initial save was made by Miller and Geno gathered his own rebound to make it 1-0 Pens.  Geno's 48th goal of the season.  Buffalo tied it up less than 3 minutes later.  The puck was shot at Johnson, all of Buffalo jumped on him and somehow the puck went in and former Penguin Jordan Leopold got credit for the goal.  Apparently goalie interference is legal now.  If it was Chris Kunitz the goal would have been waved off.  Is there anyone in the league who has a goalie's number more than Sidney Crosby has Ryan Miller's?  Probably not.  Crosby got the puck down low and went 5 hole on Miller.  2-1 Pens.  Could probably make a decently long highlight video of all the times Crosby schooled Ryan Miller.  Once again the Sabres answered quick.  3 foot 2 Tyler Ennis came down the wing and threw a pretty harmless shot towards Brent Johnson and it beat him pretty easily.  Johnson should have saved it.  2-2 after 1.

2nd Period

The Pens went to work in the 2nd period.  After killing off a Matt Cooke boarding penalty they got a power play of their own but couldn't do anything with it.  They got another a few minutes later and cashed in.  Crosby skated down the left wing and threw a sick pass through 4 players right to the tape of James Neal.  Money.  3-2 Pens.  Crosby wasn't done yet.  Crosby was down around the goal line and threw a no look drop pass to Pascal Dupuis who tried putting it on net but it was block but the puck made it's way to Steve Sullivan who chipped it past emo Miller to make it 4-2 Pens.  Nasty nasty pass by Sid.  Buffalo would get one back when the Pens tried clearing it and the puck hit a something on the glass and bounced right to Tomas Vanek in front.  Beej had no chance.  4-3.  The end of the period would be delayed for a while after the puck broke a piece of glass that took a while to fix.  The teams went to the locker room and came back out and finished the period.  Nothing happened.

3rd Period

What.  A.  Period.  If you want to watch what hockey should look like watch the 3rd period of this game.  Both teams we're going balls to the wall.  The Pens trying to pad their lead and hang on to the lead and Buffalo trying to tie it.  Both teams had unlimited chances but both goalies were making big time saves.  Johnny came up huge for the Pens on multiple occasions.  The biggest being Pascal Dupuis having a breakaway from center ice and tried going top shelf but emo Miller made the save.  With 2:21 left in the 3rd Malkin tried clearing the puck but shot it over the glass.  Horrible time to take a penalty.  The Pens PK which hadn't been stellar over the past few games had to go to work.  Buffalo got a few chances but Beej and the Pens PK slammed the door.  They killed the penalty and Staal would ice the game by adding an empty netter to give the Pens a 5-3 win.

3 Stars

1.  Sidney Crosby

2.  Tomas Vanek

3.  Steve Sullivan

Huge game Sunday when the Flyers come to town.  Probably the biggest game this season.  Probably a must win too.

Go Pens

RECAP. You Just Lost to Al Montoya. Pens LOSE

The only thing that looked worse than the Pens last night was what happened during intermission.

Video via @kristianaaaaaa_ on twitter

Buffalo tonight.  Pens will probably lose by 5.

Go Pens

The Race For First and Our Case For Being Ok With Fourth

The season is winding down and the Pens and Rangers are locked in a tight race for 1st in not only the Division but the Eastern Conference as well.  Below we take a look at the remaining schedule for both teams as well as why we are perfectly fine with finishing 4th.

Pens remaining schedule:

Tonight @ Islanders

Tomorrow @ Buffalo

Sunday 4/1 vs Philly

Tuesday 4/3 @ Boston

Thursday 4/5 vs Rangers

Saturday 4/7 vs Philly

Rangers remaining schedule:

Tomorrow @ Montreal

Sunday 4/1 vs Boston

Tuesday 4/3 @ Philly

Thursday 4/5 @Pittsburgh

Saturday 4/7 vs Washington

Obviously this schedule favors the Rangers.  Montreal sucks.  Boston is maybe getting their game back.  2 tough road games in Philly and Pittsburgh and ending the season at home against the Caps who pretty much don't care anymore.

The Pens have a game in hand on the Rangers but that goes away tonight when they go to Long Island to play the Isles.  Then they have to go to Buffalo who is clinging on to the 8th spot right now.  Then they have a Sunday afternoon matchup with Philly before heading to Boston.  They then return home to take on the Rangers and end the season at home vs Philly.

We could be super homers and say the Pens will run he table and finish 1st.  But we aren't going that way.  The Rangers currently have a 5 point lead in the East so they would have to fall 3 times and the Pens basically would have to run the table to get 1st.  We really don't think this is going to happen setting up a 1st round playoff Hell in a Cell match with the Flyers most likely.  But here why you should be ok with this.

Here are the Atlantic Division Winners and how they've fared in the Playoffs since the lockout.

05-06.  Division Winner: New Jersey.  Eliminated: Round 2

06-07.  Division Winner: New Jersey.  Eliminated: Round 2

07-08.  Division Winner: Pittsburgh:  Lost in the Cup Finals

08-09.  Division Winner: New Jersey.  Eliminated Round 1

09-10.  Division Winner: New Jersey.  Eliminated Round 1

10-11.  Division Winner: Philadelphia.  Eliminated Round 2

Only 1 Atlantic Division Winner has gotten passed the 2 round since the lockout.  This is one of the reasons we are perfectly fine with not winning the Division.  The Pens finished 2nd in the Division and 4th in the East in 2009 and went on to win the cup.  Another reason we don't care if the Pens finish 1st teams that finish 1st in the regular season don't fare very well in the playoffs.  Evidence:

2005-2006

1st East: Ottawa.  Eliminated Round 2

1st West: Detroit.  Eliminated Round 1

All the top seeds in the West were eliminated in the 1st round.

Stanley Cup Winner: 2nd seeded Carolina over 8th seeded Edmonton.

2006-2007

1East:  Buffalo.  Eliminated Round 3.

1West:  Detroit.  Eliminated Round 3.

Stanley Cup Winner: 2nd seeded Anaheim over 4th seeded Ottawa.

2007-2008

1East:  Montreal.  Eliminated round 2

1West:  Detroit.  Won Cup over 2nd Seeded Pittsburgh.

2008-2009

1East:  Boston.  Eliminated round 2

1West:  San Jose.  Eliminated Round 1

Stanley Cup Winner: 4th seeded  Pittsburgh over 2nd seeded Detroit

2009-2010

1East: Washington.  Eliminated round 1

1West:  San Jose.  Eliminated round 3

Stanley Cup Winners: 2nd seeded Chicago over 7th seeded Philly

2010-2011

1East:  Washington.  Eliminated Round 2

1West:  Vancouver.  Lost Cup to 3rd seeded Boston

Obviously 1st seeds in both Conferences have a problem with getting to the Finals.  The only team to get there and win was Detroit.  Vancouver got there and lost.  This is why we would be perfectly fine if the Pens held onto the 4th seed going into the playoffs.  No matter what happens business is about to pick up.

Pens/Isles in like 4 seconds.

Go Pens 

RECAP. Vomit Vomit Vomit. And did we say Vomit? Pens LOSE

Yeah like we are gonna recap this.  Rematch on Thursday.

Go Pens

Why The Pittsburgh Penguins Should Trade Sidney Crosby - NOW!

The internet is a great tool.  Anyone nearly anywhere in the world can write or post a video about any subject.  This also serves as a drawback.  Look at this video from the depths of Youtube.

Guy advocates trading Crosby and says Sid really doesn't have a place with the team.  While we agree Sid isn't the whole team, to say the team would be better off without him is stupid.  He mentions sending Sid to Edmonton or the Islanders for a huge return, but doesn't realize the implications of the salary cap.  Then he goes on to imply that having Craig Adams and Dustin Jeffrey makes Sid expendable, and that you don't need to have the talent down the middle to absolutely overwhelm teams with matchup issues. 

RECAP. This Is More Like It. Pens WIN

Not to bring it up again but the Pens got spanked on Saturday.  Of course the Rangers won so the Pens were back to being 3 points behind them.  The Pens didn't need to win Sunday's game but it was a huge game none the less.  Plus the last time the Pens had an embarrassing 4 goal loss the rolled of 11 straight wins.  The Pens got on the board early after a Marty Brodeur give away.  Kunitz made it 1-0.  But the Devils got it right back when Sid had a horrible giveaway to Zach Parise who had a wide open net to tie the game.  The Pens scored a couple to take the lead but the Devils got one back.  The Sidney Crosby did this:

Pens win 5-2

Pens play Tuesday against the Islanders.

Go Pens

  

RECAP. Umm. Yeah. Pens LOSE

Yikes.  Embarrassing defensive effort last night from the Pens.

We blame this.

Pens and Devils in like 12 seconds.

Go Pens

Game 74 - Pens at Sens

1900

ROOT Sports Pittsburgh

While not a championship game in the least, the Penguins have a great opportunity tonight.  That opportunity is to move into first place in the Eastern Conference with seven games left this season.  Here's a look at the standings:

The Penguins have one game in hand on the Rangers, who play at the Maple Leafs tonight.  The Maple Leafs suck, so the Pens will probably still be in fourth after tonight.  Still, it is fascinating, since not too long ago the Pens were 10 points out of first place.


Last time the Penguins play the Senators, it was possibly the worst showing of the season, as they lost 5-1.  We were at that game, and it was possibly the worst showing that this team has had in a long time.  This was also the fourth game of the five game losing streak that culminated in Dejan Kovacevic's article about Crosby deserving better with dark times surrounding the team and an apparent team meeting discussing stripping Sid of the captaincy.  The Pens have gone something like 26-4-1 since then and are currently on a 14 game point streak. 

Ottawa is coming into tonight's game sitting 7th in the East, only two points up on Buffalo and Washington for 8th.  Expect them to be a bit more desperate than the Pens tonight.

Matt Niskanen and Joe Vitale are both out tonight due to upper body injuries.

Here are the lines for tonight's game:

Pens

Chris Kunitz - Evgeni Malkin - James Neal
Steve Sullivan - Jordan Staal - Pascal Dupuis
Matt Cooke - Sidney Crosby - Tyler Kennedy
Eric Tangradi - Craig Adams - Arron Asham

Kris Letang - Paul Martin
Brooks Orpik - Zbynek Michalek
Ben Lovejoy - Deryk Engelland

Brad Thiessen

Sens

Milan Michalek - Jason Spezza - Colin Greening
Zack Smith - Kyle Turris - Daniel Alfredsson
Nick Foligno - Jim O'Brien - Chris Neil
Rob Klinkhammer - Kasars Daugavins - Erik Condra

Erik Karlsson - Filip Kuba
Sergei Gonchar - Jared Cowen
Chris Phillips - Matt Carkner

Ben Bishop

Go Pens

RECAP. Get Ready To Dance. Pens WIN

The best team ever Nashville was in town last night.  Ok.  No they aren't the best team ever as many people said last night might be a Stanley Cup preview because the Predators were so good.  Last night the Pens played their best all around game of the season and completely dismantled the Predators.  Watching the Malkin-Neal-Kunitz line like watching something you do on a video game.  They are making it look so smooth and easy.  Evgeni Malkin is on PCP right now.  If he doesn't win the MVP someone will need investigated for robbery.  The scariest part about last nights game.  Sidney Crosby didn't have a single point.  Good lord.  If you didn't know, the Pens clinched a playoff birth.  Get your dancing shoes ready.

1st Period

Who else.  Evgeni Malkin gets the Pens on the board early.

 What Pekka Rinne in goal.  Such a soft goal to let it.  A few minutes later Pascal Dupuis scored his like 10892425824735 goal of the season to make it 2-0. Nashville looked so disinterested last night.  The rest of the period was pretty whatever.  Pens seemed to be getting unlimited chances.

2nd Period

The Pens got on the board early again in the 2nd.  Big time fore checking from Evgeni Malkin led to a James Neal take away.  Neal took Rinne one way and dished it back to Matt Cooke.  Money.  Cooke's 17th goal of the season.  What a season for Matt Cooke.  Should be a lock for the Masterson Award and maybe the Lady Byng.  The Pens struck quickly again.  Kunitz through the puck towards Sidney Crosby who was going to the goal.  The puck bounced off Weber's skate and into the goal.  Thought maybe Sid got it but didn't.  Alexander Radulolv made his only appearance of the game scoring a goal I could have scored.  Whatever.  Still 4-1 Pens.

3rd Period

Malkin early again.  Blew another shot passed Rinne to make it 5-1.  The puck was in and out so fast the refs tried waiving it of but even Nashville knew it was in.  The game was all over.  Nashville was on a play back to Tennessee before the game even ended.

3 Stars

1.  James Neal

2.  Evgeni Malkin

3.  Chris Kunitz

Usually we'll throw some bull shit in here to waste some space but none of that really matters.

 

This is all that matters now.

Ottawa Saturday at 7.  Lets Roll

Go Pens

  

Paul Steigerwald May Have Had a Concussion

Yikes.  Explains a lot though.

What a pose

RECAP. Flying High. Pens WIN

Kinda forgot we had to do a recap.  Oops.

The Thrashers where in town last night.

Oops again.

Both teams forgot to play defense again this game.  The Pens put up 8 goals on the Thras...Jets again in this one. 3 coming from James Neal for his first hat trick as a Penguin.  2 each from Evgeni Malkin and...Tyler Kennedy.  Yeah.  TK scored 2 goals.  Pascal Dupuis added another to give the Pens a 8-4 win.  Brad Theissen is 3-0 in the NHL.

Buffalo and New York are in action tonight.  If Buffalol loses the Pens are in the playoffs.  If the Rags lose the Pens can take over 1st place tomorrow.

Go Pens

Game 72 - Thrashers at Penguins

7:00

ROOT Sports

We refuse to acknowledge the Jets as being from Winnipeg.  That team is now in Phoenix.  So stop with the 1995 references.

Pens are looking to rebound tonight after a poor 3rd period on Sunday.  A win would clinch a playoff spot.  We're also hoping to see Sid finally get a goal.  He scored his last forehand goal against this franchise last year.

Lines from The Pensblog

Chris Kunitz - Evgeni Malkin - James Neal
Steve Sullivan - Jordan Staal - Pascal Dupuis
Matt Cooke - Sidney Crosby - Tyler Kennedy
Eric Tangradi - Craig Adams - Arron Asham

Kris Letang - Paul Martin
Brooks Orpik - Zbynek Michalek
Matt Niskanen - Deryk Engelland

Brad Thiessen

Andrew Ladd - Bryan Little - Blake Wheelers
Evander Kane - Alexander Burmistrov - Kyle Wellwood
Tim Stapleton - Ben Maxwel - Antti Miettinen
Tanner Glass - Jim Slater - Spencer Machacek

Tobias Enstrom - Dustin Byfuglien
Ron Hainsey - Zach Bogosian
Colin Stuart - Randy Jones

Ondrej Pavelec

RECAP. Well This Is New. Pens LOSE

It felt good to not have to type that for 11 straight games but on Sunday afternoon the Pens winning streak came to an end.  Of course it was the Flyers that did it.  It was also the Flyers who ended the Pens winning streak last season.

The Pens were up 2-0 going into the 3rd period but completely melted down in the 3rd.  The Flyers tied it and the game went to overtime.  Scott Fucking Hartnell of course scores with 1.6 seconds left in overtime to give the Flyers the win.

Best thing to come out of this game was Kunitz almost doing what every Pens fan wanted to do. End Scott Hartnell.  But he didn't and Hartnell scored the OT winner.  Of course.

What can we really complain about though?  The Pens just won 11 in a row.  They are 1 point behind the struggling Rangers for 1st in the East.  And they just took 5 out of 6 points in New York, New Jersey, and Philadelphia.  If you're jammed up about this loss get over it.  Pens magic number to clinch a playoff spot is 3.

Pens/Jets on Tuesday.   

Go Pens

Game 71 - Pens at Flyers

1230

Whackoffia Center

NBC

The Pens are looking to make it 12 in a row against the Flyer scum this afternoon.  Really no other words need to be said.  It's a race to the playoffs, and both the Pens and Flyers are jockeying for position down the stretch.  The Pens could move into a tie with the Rangers for the division lead with a win today.  

Go Pens

RECAP. New York New York. Pens WIN

The Pens have won 10 in a row.  If your complaining about something at this point then just stop watching hockey.  The Rangers are probably the most undeserving 1st place team on the planet.  If not for wins over the lowly Islanders, Hurricanes and slumping Bruins this team would be looking up at the Pens right now.  Can't wait for this team to get upset by the Caps or Sabres in the 1st round.  Oh and Sidney Crosby was back.  Kris Letang too.

1st Period

Matt Cooke got the Pens on the board early.  Got his own rebound and flicked one in the air that was batted in by a Ranger.  1-0 Pens.  Martin Biron sucks.  The Pens had a couple power plays they couldn't do anything with.  The Rangers tried to run Malkin a couple times.  Haven't they learned if you make Geno mad you'll pay?  Orpik looked at someone and got a penalty.  Pens killed it.  Someone tied it for the Rangers.  Pens couldn't clear the puck.  Horrible goal.  

2nd Period

Remember that thing I said about pissing Malkin off?  Yeah.  Malkin got the puck in front of Birlolon after a great play by James Neal, Malkin deked Birlolon so hard his mom felt it and buried it to make it 2-1.  That's what happens when you piss the leads leading point scorer off.  Before you know it, TK to Cooke.  3-1.  Best play TK has made all season.  He probably won't make another one all year so enjoy it.  The Rangers took over for the rest of the period.  And of course Gaborik made it 3-2 going into the 3rd.

3rd Period

Going into the 3rd you couldn't help but have you sphincter tight as ever.  But the Pens made the 3rd period easy on us.  For once.  The Pens had a power play but couldn't score but right after it ended Bing found Kunitz who put one in Birlolons eye.  4-2.  The Rangers pretty much gave up.  If that goal didn't break them when Pascal Dupuis made it 5-2 sure did.  The Rangers look like they don't even care.  Game.

3 Stars

1.  Matt Cooke

2.  Evgeni Malkin

3.  Kris Letang

Kris Letang was a plus 5 last night.  Yep.  What a player.

Tables.  Ladders.  And Chairs match against New Jersey on Saturday at 1.

Go Pens

Game 69 - Pens at Rangers

7:00

Madison Square Garden

NHL Network, ROOT Sports

Crosby and Letang return tonight for Pittsburgh.  Huge game with the Rangers five points ahead of the Pens for first.  Not a whole lot else to say.  Probably the biggest game of the year up to this point.

Go Pens

5 Years Ago Today

Everyone buckle up in your time machines and let's take a trip back to March 13th 2007.  If you have no idea why were are going back to this day stop reading this post and turn in your fan card. 

It was the first time we were witnessing good hockey in about 6 years.  The Pens were finally winning some games and in position to make the playoffs for the first time since the 2000-2001 season.  

The future of the Pens was in serious jeopardy.  Their lease on the Civic (Mellon at the time) Arena was about to run out.  Not to mention the Civic Arena was in bad shape as well.  Basically it came down to the Pens needed a new arena or the were probably leaving town.  The Pens hope was almost completely shattered a couple months prior when the Isle of Capri didn't win the cities slots license.

If you thought the Pens were as good as gone you aren't the only one.  And if you actually thought the team was staying you are kidding yourself too.  Rough, rough times back then.  But there was still a glimmer of hope.  It wasn't bright but it was there.

Then on March 13th 2007 after all the sphincter clenching moths of not knowing what was going to happen to our beloved Penguins, it happened.  To this day you probably still remember where you were, what your were doing, or the girl you banged when you heard the news...The Pens were staying in Pittsburgh.

The Pens were getting the new arena they needed to stay in Pittsburgh.  And the announcement was made.

All the facts about this post might not be right.  If you're that butt hurt about it oh well.  Suck it.

Pens/Rangers on Thursday.  

Go Pens

RECAP. Somethings Bruin. Pens WIN

The defending Stanley Cup champs rolled in to Consol Energy Center last night and looked like a huge pile of dog shit.  The Bruins only decided to play once they got down by 100 goals.  Did Zdeno Chara even play?  Pens through the body early and often on Chara and it had its effect.  Tim Thomas sucks.  The Pens are 21-4-1 since the 6 game losing streak.  Remember that?

1st Period

Pens got on the board early.  Aaron Asham was in the right place at the right time and put one through Tim Thomas' legs easier than if he was Jenna Jameson.  1-0 Pens.  Soon after that James Neal lit up Chara and got called for interference.  It was the beginning of a long day for Chara.  Pens killed it.  Adam McQuaid or whatever his name is tried to run James Neal in the corner but Neal stood up on him and McQuaid injured himself.  The puck went to the point were arguably this seasons biggest surprise, Matt Niskanen, put a shot on goal and made it 2-0 Pens.  Big time screen from James Neal on the play.  Puck may have hit that big oaf Chara on the play.  The Pens eventually went on a 5 on 3.  The Bruins had probably one of the laziest line line changes of all time.  Malkin to Neal.  Money.  3-0.  

2nd Period

Tim Thomas got pulled to start the 2nd.  Marty Turco in goal for the Bruins now.  Pens couldn't cash in on the power play.  Krejci went the other way and beat MAF to make it 3-1.  Bruins finally showed a pulse.  The Pens answered right back.  Malkin to Neal to Kunitz.  Turco had no chance.  4-1 Pens.  Nothing else really happened in the 2nd.  Turco may have stopped Staal in there somewhere.  Krejci scored his 2nd.  Whatever.

3rd Period

  The Bruins looked like they wanted to get back to the locker room and circle jerk with the Cup some more. Dupuis completely embarrassed Lucic and beat Turco on a break away.  5-2.  Game.

3 Stars

1.  Jame Neal

2.  Evgeni Malkin

3.  David Krejci

Steel Cage match with the Ranger on Thursday.  Gotta root for Carolina on Tuesday.

Go Pens

  

RECAP. Florida Still Sucks.

Take a dump in your hand.  Now throw it on the closest wall.  Now piss on it.  That's how bad the Pens looked last night.  But some how they managed to get 2 points in the shootout.  Actually kinda happy the game went to OT because it gave the Panthers another point up on Washington.  

Buckle up.  Bruins coming to town tomorrow at 12:30.  Steel Cage match vs the Rangers on Thursday.  And 2 Tables, Ladders, and Chairs matches with the Devils and Flyers on the weekend.

This is probably appropriate for this week.

Go Pens

RECAP. 1967 Forever. Pens WIN

The Leafs and their dick bag fans invaded Pittsburgh yesterday and if you need a reason to hate the Leafs just got to a Pens/Leafs game next season and watch all the jackasses that show up.  Leafs fans were chanting "Go Leafs Go" in peoples faces last night and in the 3rd period 2 Leafs fans got kicked out of the arena to chants of "67".  Good times.  No for the recap.

1st Period

The Pens dominated the 1st period.  They had 11 shots or something in the first period but couldn't beat Gustavsson.  Brad Thiessen was in goal for his 2nd career start and only faced 2 or 3 shots in the first.  Other than that the 1st was pretty whatever.

2nd Period

Of course the Leafs get the first goal.  Some joke ran over Thiessen and Philol Kesselol got the puck and put it on an empty net.  How that counted is beyond us.  Oh wait its a Canadian team.  1-0 Leafs.  Leafs fans probably thought it was the greatest goal ever.  The Pens had unlimited opportunities to tie the game but couldn't hit the net or miss Gustavsson.  Of course the Leafs would score again.  Graballski who only ever scores against the Pens made it 2-0.  How he's worth 5.5 million dollars is a mystery.  What a joke.  The Pens would finally get on the board.  After about 600 sustained shifts in the Loleafs zone Matt Niskanen put one on net and Pascal Dupuis deflected it in to make it 2-1.  It was all over for Gustavsson at that point.

3rd Period

The Pens tied it early.  Pascal Dupuis found Orpik who put one towards the net and Staal got his stick to the puck and deflected it top shelf on Gustavsson to make it 2-2.  How many goals would Jordan Staal have if he hadn't gotten injured?  Soon after that Pascal Dupuis beat Gustavsson 5-hole to make it 3-2 Pens.  That's all the Pens would need.  Brad Thiessen was solid the rest of the game and robbed the Leafs a few time.  The Pens would hold on to win 3-2.

3 Stars

1.  Pascal Dupuis

2. Jordan Staal

3.  Some Leaf

The Pens next game is against the Southeast Division leading Florida Panthers.  Typing that made me laugh.

Go Pens

GAMEDAY. Mario Statue

No this isn't the statue.

The Mario Statue is being unveiled at 12 today.  Really the only thing to say is...It's.  About.  Time.

Go Pens

RECAP. Insert Witty Phoenix Recap Title Here. Pens WIN

Phoenix visited Consol Energy Center last night.  Yeah we really have nothing to say about them.  Somehow the Coyotes are 3rd in the West.  No clue how that happened but they are still the Coyotes and they probably won't even be in Phoenix in 5 years.  

The game after the 1st period was pretty much meh.  The Pens got goals in the first from Michalek Island,

and Chirs Kunitz.  (Yes it wasn't waved off)  How many goals would Kunitz have if he didn't have so many waved off.

Probably the most disappointing thing about the game was this.

via @tombellucco on twitter.

The Pens would hold on to win 2-1.

Other News

• If you haven't heard Sidney Crosby has been cleared for contact.
• Mario Statue is being unveiled tomorrow at 12

• 	EASTERN	DIV	GP	W	L	OT	P	ROW	GF	GA	DIFF	HOME	AWAY	S/O	L10	STREAK
  1	* - NY RANGERS	ATL	64	42	15	7	91	39	179	133	+46	22-7-2	20-8-5	3-5	6-2-2	WON 1
  2	* - BOSTON	NE	64	38	23	3	79	31	209	150	+59	19-12-2	19-11-1	7-2	4-5-1	LOST 2
  3	* - FLORIDA	SE	65	31	22	12	74	27	163	184	-21	16-9-8	15-13-4	4-7	4-5-1	WON 1
  4	PITTSBURGH	ATL	65	39	21	5	83	31	209	168	+41	21-8-2	18-13-3	8-3	8-2-0	WON 6
  5	PHILADELPHIA	ATL	64	36	21	7	79	34	210	191	+19	15-10-5	21-11-2	2-5	5-5-0	WON 2
  6	NEW JERSEY	ATL	65	36	24	5	77	26	180	175	+5	16-12-3	20-12-2	10-3	5-4-1	LOST 1
  7	OTTAWA	NE	67	34	25	8	76	29	202	198	+4	17-13-3	17-12-5	5-2	6-3-1	LOST 2
  8	WINNIPEG	SE	67	32	27	8	72	28	176	187	-11	21-10-4	11-17-4	4-4	6-2-2	WON 2
  9	WASHINGTON	SE	65	32	28	5	69	31	172	184	-12	21-10-2	11-18-3	1-3	4-6-0	LOST 2
  10	TAMPA BAY	SE	65	31	28	6	68	29	184	219	-35	20-9-2	11-19-4	2-3	7-3-0	WON 4
  11	BUFFALO	NE	66	30	28	8	68	24	163	186	-23	16-11-7	14-17-1	6-4	6-2-2	LOST 1
  12	TORONTO	NE	65	30	28	7	67	27	194	201	-7	16-12-5	14-16-2	3-3	2-7-1	WON 1
  13	NY ISLANDERS	ATL	66	28	29	9	65	23	155	195	-40	15-14-5	13-15-4	5-3	4-5-1	WON 2
  14	CAROLINA	SE	65	24	27	14	62	24	171	197	-26	17-13-6	7-14-8	0-6	4-2-4	OT 1
  15	MONTRÉAL	NE	66	25	31	10	60	21	170	184	-14	12-15-8	13-16-2	4-8	2-7-1	LOST 1

8 points out of 1st with 17 to play.  Is it possible?

Leafs come to town tomorrow.  Remember when they were in 1st place and all the Leafs fans were like "ZOMG PLAYOFFS AND STANLEY CUP!!!!11!!!!!!!!11!!!! fdjgdsakfjgv"  Well just look at the image above.  Suck it Toronto.

Go Pens